I'm so sorry for your loss. After I lost my father last summer, I felt very inspired to race. It was that same feeling of wanting to really live life, to get out of my comfort zone and push myself; to be more like my father.
I haven't toured, but I have driven across country and I experienced a feeling of existing in a very strange and beautiful "in the moment" place which I'm not really able to describe, but you might understand what I mean. I hope this trip gives you comfort.
'02 Eddy Merckx Fuga, Selle An Atomica
'85 Eddy Merckx Professional, Selle An Atomica
'10 Soma Double Cross DC, Selle An Atomica
Slacker on wheels.