I struggled with a bad conscience too when my son was a baby and I wanted to get some exercise and he would scream for me as his dad took him... but I'm pretty sure that was hormones talking

Intellectually I had no trouble rationalizing that I needed to get out, he needed to get to know his dad, and his dad needed time alone with kid. We talked about it fairly early on and agreed that our expectations were shared parenting as default, which meant both parents at home, and ask if you want to do something alone. So we called it "babysitting", but that was whenever either parent had to care for baby alone, without the other one. (In reality I had to peel baby off me to do anything, but hey, we tried).

Wow. Now my son is 15, gruff-voiced and moustached, and just sat up later than my bedtime, dissecting computers with his dad Time flies.