I never vent, but I feel like I could cry.

Dear Passive-Aggressive co-worker in the next cube.

It could be tourettes.
But more likely, it is just your personality and ill health.
White noise helps some, but not enough. You are driving me crazy.
Burp. Excuse me. Burp. Excuse me. Sigh. Sigh. Burp. Excuse me.
All. Day. Long.

You talk out of one side of your mouth to anyone who asks that you love your *new* job, and then you ***** about it all day long. You hated your old boss and you *LOVE* your new bosses yet you compare your new bosses to your old bosses under your breath.

I can't get any work done. Your burping, sighing, hacking up guk, complaining, muttering to self, humming and hemming is just - I'm going insane. Insane, I tell ya. I get to the end of the day and I rush out to listen to traffic and sirens. Anything. And then, to make things worse, I find myself doing this at home:

{little cough} "oh, excuse me."

Arrrgerereererrrrrgh!!!!

I guess it's time for the noise cancelling headphones.

Sincerely,

Near tears since you moved next door...