After the Serious Accident

[NadiaMac]

I had a bad mtb accident a few years ago-- no hospitals, but the crash itself was hugely terrifying (long fall into a ravine) and I busted up my knee and recovery from that has taken a few years-- still not there, but I am getting stronger every day.

Reading your initial post, I am reminded of how hard it was for me to recover mentally/emotionally from my crash. I had nightmares for months about the fall and for about a year after the crash, just thinking of the fall caused a dizzy feeling, nauseating stomach flutters, and increased pulse. Not to mention the shock to the system of losing my riding/exercise/joyful pursuit routine-- i was physically unable to ride for about a year due to knee issues.

As I've sorted out the physical issues (with surgery and some complicated rehab involving a secondary back injury), I have gradually gotten back to riding. When I started up again, I was very nervous about crashing again. I stuck to the road bike, wouldn't ride near other riders and took a while to get back to city riding. My descents were cautious and I had irrational fears, eg, that my fork would break during a descent and I'd go down. I swore that I would not mtb again, though I kept my mtb and cross bikes (I actually covered up the mtb so I wouldn't see it though).

After a long while, thing kind of turned a corner this year. I've regained my confidence with group riding and descending (always one of my strengths) on the road bike. And I rode a mt bike again-- crazy story, but my first mtb ride in three years was downhilling in the Queenstown NZ downhill mountain bike park while I was on vacation in New Zealand earlier this year. I'd never ridden a downhill bike before, but it looked like so much fun that I had to try. We rented huge heavy downhill bikes and suited up in armor and downhill helmets. I had some nerves at first, then gradually the joy of riding fast, getting some air and skidding through banked corners took over and I actually passed people on later runs! Not to mention dropping my boyfriend (heh).

Anyhow, this is a long winded way of suggesting (as others have) that you take it easy, don't feel pressure to make any decisions, and be mindful that having a serious accident can take a while to recover from mentally and emotionally. You've had a trauma, and that can take a while to get through. Depression is a response to trauma. Give it some time. And if you do start up riding again, take it easy and start out with safe-feeling rides. It might take a while before you feel normal again on the bike and this is normal. good luck to you!
NM