After the Serious Accident

[jessmarimba]

Just wanted to throw in my story. Had a not-so-bad wreck, in the grand scheme of things (no blood, somehow!) but I had a vertebral burst fracture, spinal canal was impinged (fortunately, no paralysis). 10 days in the hospital for me, total bill was close to 160K? I think? Thank goodness for insurance.

I ride, but not as bravely as I did before. Speed is no longer thrilling, but I like going UP hills much more than I used to!

It's tough to think about whether or not you will ride when you're stuck in a position where you can't. And it's also tough, because the longer you're off the bike, the more time you have to build up fear. This is going to seem like sort of weird advice, but I would find something else that has always interested you - maybe you want to learn stained glass, or how to rock climb, or learn Swahili, who knows. And concentrate on whatever that is for awhile. Sort of how thinking of anything besides a major problem can cause the solution to that problem to magically appear? It lets your subconscious think about whether you want to ride without all of the pressure. Dwelling on it, you'll be making decisions and second-guessing them every 5 seconds.

Also remember that whatever you decide now isn't the end-all be-all of the story, either. Say you decide you don't want the Ruby. You can save up and get it next year, if a few months off the bike makes you realize you changed your mind.

Good luck, and I hope you heal quickly.

[Bethany1]

I hope you get better soon. I haven't had a serious accident on a bike, but my first gran mal seizure put me out for about 3-4 weeks. Most of which I don't remember even 15 years later. It's rough but it gets better.

Don't make any drastic changes right now that you'll end up regretting later.

I actually got on my Mukluk today and rode two miles after healing up a little over a week from a concussion. It was my Mamba I wrecked on, but it was scary nice to get back on a bike. You don't think about how much coordination goes into riding a bike until you have to think about it. Two miles was enough for my brain. I came home and slept for a couple of hours.

My Mamba is in the shop getting looked at and to be honest, I almost feel like they can keep it. Every time I walked by it at home it gave me the shivers. It's tempting to sell it so I don't even have to deal with the memories. However; I hate to end up regretting it later so it will stay there for now.

Concentrate on getting better, both physically and emotionally. You'll ride when you are ready. If you are going bonkers with nothing to do, maybe it's a good time to learn something new. I started quilting 10 years ago because I wasn't able to drive due to seizures. Staying at home all day was mind numbingly boring. That skill has enhanced my life and when things get bad I have an outlet that is creative.

A

[NadiaMac]

I had a bad mtb accident a few years ago-- no hospitals, but the crash itself was hugely terrifying (long fall into a ravine) and I busted up my knee and recovery from that has taken a few years-- still not there, but I am getting stronger every day.

Reading your initial post, I am reminded of how hard it was for me to recover mentally/emotionally from my crash. I had nightmares for months about the fall and for about a year after the crash, just thinking of the fall caused a dizzy feeling, nauseating stomach flutters, and increased pulse. Not to mention the shock to the system of losing my riding/exercise/joyful pursuit routine-- i was physically unable to ride for about a year due to knee issues.

As I've sorted out the physical issues (with surgery and some complicated rehab involving a secondary back injury), I have gradually gotten back to riding. When I started up again, I was very nervous about crashing again. I stuck to the road bike, wouldn't ride near other riders and took a while to get back to city riding. My descents were cautious and I had irrational fears, eg, that my fork would break during a descent and I'd go down. I swore that I would not mtb again, though I kept my mtb and cross bikes (I actually covered up the mtb so I wouldn't see it though).

After a long while, thing kind of turned a corner this year. I've regained my confidence with group riding and descending (always one of my strengths) on the road bike. And I rode a mt bike again-- crazy story, but my first mtb ride in three years was downhilling in the Queenstown NZ downhill mountain bike park while I was on vacation in New Zealand earlier this year. I'd never ridden a downhill bike before, but it looked like so much fun that I had to try. We rented huge heavy downhill bikes and suited up in armor and downhill helmets. I had some nerves at first, then gradually the joy of riding fast, getting some air and skidding through banked corners took over and I actually passed people on later runs! Not to mention dropping my boyfriend (heh).

Anyhow, this is a long winded way of suggesting (as others have) that you take it easy, don't feel pressure to make any decisions, and be mindful that having a serious accident can take a while to recover from mentally and emotionally. You've had a trauma, and that can take a while to get through. Depression is a response to trauma. Give it some time. And if you do start up riding again, take it easy and start out with safe-feeling rides. It might take a while before you feel normal again on the bike and this is normal. good luck to you!
NM

[Triskeliongirl]

My husband and I both have had *very serious* accidents and we still both ride. But, after our accidents we made a set of rules. To make these rules, analyze what went wrong on your ride. If there is anything you could have done differently, make that a rule. Our rules include things like not riding in the rain, in the dark, on roads we think are too hazardous, without eye correction, outside of ourselves (trying to stay in a group that is beyond your fitness level so that you are not as stable as you should be), avoiding folks with poor bike handling skills in a group, etc.

And take it back in baby steps. After my accident, I started back really slow on a car free bike path (I had been hit by an SUV that rammed me across 4 lanes of traffic, breaking my pelvis, hip, etc. I still have a 2.2 cm leg length discrepancy after it all healed). I did commute on that road again, and cried the first time I went through that intersection. A few accidents later, albeit more minor, on that road, I stopped commuting on that road and deemed it too dangerous. But I still enjoy club rides and touring on roads I deem safe. My husband too avoids a club ride where he crashed twice, once very seriously (as in being airlifted to the hospital and staying there for 2 months) and once less so, due to poor road conditions.

As others have said, take it in baby steps. Ride when you feel ready (and your doctors clear you), and on roads you feel very safe on with people you feel very safe with. DO NOT feel guilty about using your insurance benefits. That is why you and/or your employer pay premiums. If insurance companies didn't make money they wouldn't be in business.

[Melalvai]

I've been avoiding reading this thread because I didn't want to think about it. But then I thought that was selfish of me, maybe I have something to offer. Now that I have read it, I don't actually have anything new to offer, just support everything that's been said. Still glad that I read it since I got a lot out of everyone's stories. Thank you all!

[SallyRides]

An accident is just that - an accident! That's why we pay for/have insurance. No reason at all for you to feel guilty about that.

I've had, unfortunately, more than one bike-related accident that required insurance payments for me and for bike replacement. Broke my pelvis one time, scraped off a good amount of skin from my face/concussion/cracked bike frame another occasion. First time, I blame myself for inattention in a paceline. Second time, not my fault at all. It was either crash into a curb or be under a car. (I chose the curb and major endo.)

Getting back on the bike after the first accident was tough!! I couldn't ride with a group at first. It's been 11 years and I still have slight anxiety in groups/pacelines. But.......... I was back on the bike the very first day that my Ortho ok'd me.

Second accident, I looked scary with a swollen, bruised face. But the rest of me was ok, and I was back on the bike after a week. Leery of cars, yes, but could not give up riding.

For me, being on a bike is part of who I am. Doesn't matter how many people thought I was crazy for getting back out there. Riding is in my heart and soul. You will need to decide how important it is to you. That's what matters. If we can give you support and courage here, wonderful! But it still comes down to whatever decision you make. I wish you the best, whatever that decision may be.

SR

[ivorygorgon]

I don't think this has been covered yet, but your insurance plan will usually not pay the entire hospital the bill. Most hospitals have contracts with insurers and agree to accept pennies on the dollar for the bills. In some cases I have seen hospitals accept less than half of the actual bill, and they "adjust" the remainder off. So the amount your insurance eventually pays is much less than the bill. Here is a recent example. The doctor's bill was well over $24,000.00. The insurance paid $6,000ish. The remainder was written off. So even though it looked like the bill was $24,000, the amount paid was only $6,000, and the customer was not charged the remainder.