I don't think anyone but you can answer the question of whether you should return to riding. From a non-professional observer, it sounds like you have some issues resulting from the crash that, if I experienced them, might make me want to see a therapist to work through them. A professional might be able to help you treat/work through/whatever you need your depression.

What I can say is accidents happen. There are lots of women here who have had horrific crashes, and still ride. I wouldn't worry about the insurance bill or the disability time - that's what those things are for. Would you feel the same way if you were injured in a car wreck? Walking down a road? Had complications from a disease that progressed from a sedentary lifestyle? My opinion is that you're being too hard on yourself there. I also think you're being too hard on yourself about the bike. You deserve it whether or not you had an accident. They're called accidents for a reason.

Was the accident related to the group ride? I can tell you that my DH and I both ride in groups less now. He had a bad crash that was caused by someone else's bad bike handling. Our co-pays and bike damage were a lot of money. Some are cautious about riding alone - we're cautious about groups.

Gentle hugs.