Need Your Help - OT & Long!

[Trekhawk]

Aaaa affairs of the heart always hit us hard. Sending giant hugs your way. It sounds like you love to ride so keep it up. Sometimes it can be hard to see all the good stuff in our lives when the bad stuff is there too but look closely and you will see all you have to be happy about. Hug your boy, pat your dog and dont give that ex a thought.

Tell yourself if he left then its his HUGE loss not yours. You obviously have heaps to offer so save your energy for someone who sees that.

Good luck with the training and let us know how you are getting along.

[CorsairMac]

Sometimes we do get into things because of our DHs'/SOs but you have stayed with it and set goals within the sport that you want to achieve - I'd say you're doing this for yourself! and wow - some goals my friend! Good luck with every one of them.

As for the dating scene, I've been single for 6 yrs now and can't think of a reason why I would want to change that! I am so enjoying my freedom!! But I wish you all the best on that scene too - being alone isn't for everyone.

and know we're always here for you!! {{{{{{darby}}}}

[Nanci]

Hi Darby,

I don't know what I can add that others haven't already said, but I can sympathize. First! I DO NOT like red. I find it very distracting! I worked a SAG stop for bike Florida this morning, and there was a gentleman wearing red shorts. Not only could you see _everything_, you could see _every detail_ of everything! So no, if anyone ever wondered, the men in Darby's whatchacallit little picture thing are _not_ Photoshoppedly Enhanced!

I had this BF. I met him as I was getting divorced and moving to FL and leaving my family and my job and all security. We moved in together several months later. He was French, but here on work. I for some reason imagined him as my next DH- perhaps it was because he said I was the best GF in the whole universe, daily, and swore he loved me more than anything. He was very athletic, and became more so. I started running because of him. On my first try, I couldn't make it around the block. I MTB'd, though, that was my sport. French BF also did triathlons. That's where I was first exposed to the sport.

After a couple years, after saying goodbye one morning, as normal, I listened to my cell messages as I was leaving work, two weeks into my first "real" job since moving here. (I took a year off to cave dive, then worked a "fun" job for a year.) French BF had left a message, but he was crying, and I didn't listen/was scared and called him. The message was, since he wasn't ever going to marry me, and take me to France, and have babies, he didn't think it was fair to live with me any more. I immediately crashed my car. Nice.

But I kept running, and even ran a marathon within a year of getting dumped. I think I ran because I loved it, but spite was certainly fuel to run on. I think I wasn't good enough to marry because I was too fat and not athletic enough and didn't have a professional enough job and was too old.

He's getting married in May. Yeah, it still stings.

I started dating people. They all sucked, and were liars. Several, I think, were married. Current BF, who I knew from cave diving, but only by e-mail, it's a small world, moved down here and one thing led to another and soon we were living together and are coming up on four years this August. He does triathlons. I have seen him through to the Ironman level, through all the training, sponsored him when he was in school and when he had a cr*p job. Eventually, I became curious. I borrowed his old bike to ride 37 miles of a Century, the fall of 2004, and that was it for me. I was _so_ hooked. It took me until last August to realize I had to buy a "real" road bike, and have not looked back. Also, last year, I did two triathlons- yes short and sprinty and wimpy, but it's a start. I would _never_ give up either thing, though it was via men that I discovered both. Now it's _my_ thing, and I have taken it to a level that I would never have dreamed of when 100 miles in one day seemed impossible.

Hopefully things will work out with the paramedic. Sometimes, you start out not having the same exact interests, and that's good! Better, even.

The MTB that got me hooked on road biking is a GT MTB with a front shock, some cheap little thing, but _fun_ to ride, that 6'4" BF had been riding. He got it second hand. The bike fits 5'2" me!!! But it took him through thousands of miles of road riding with skinny road tires on it. And me, too. So maybe a different wheelset for your MTB would work, as long as you could adjust the brakes back and forth to allow for the difference in tire widths.

Used rack, wheelset for the MTB, leave the hybrid on the trainer, and save save save for a road bike. Watch eBay like a hawk, and I bet you can find a really decent one for $1000. Don't sleep with the paramedic till you want to, but don't delay if you don't want to! Do what feels right. I second the crate idea- keep your pup out of harm's way. Can you _talk_ to your neighbor and ask her to let you know if the dog is bothering her? (My neighbor has very bark-y dogs, but I would never complain. They are outside all the time. She says she can't hear them, but I can! I think them barking is what scared away the person who tried to break into my house last fall. Now when they bark, instead of shushing them, I say "Good Dogs!!!") Watch your diet during the week, and eat enough calories to fuel yourself for your long ride on the weekend, but don't add in a ton of reward calories!! Counting calories works, I _swear_, if you don't cheat.

Nanci

[caligurl]

i didn't even realize WHICH picture that was til you mentioned it! yes.. that is quite an eyeful in the full version!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nanci]

It was like he was wearing red Saran Wrap. Doesn't he realize? Is he proud of it?? EEEEWWWW!!!!! I see enough accidental peni at work that I just don't want to look. (OTOH, Speedos don't bother me, probably because French exBF made me immune!! Plus, they are very triathlete-y.) :-)

Nanci

[Trekhawk]

It was like he was wearing red Saran Wrap. Doesn't he realize? Is he proud of it?? EEEEWWWW!!!!! I see enough accidental peni at work that I just don't want to look. (OTOH, Speedos don't bother me, probably because French exBF made me immune!! Plus, they are very triathlete-y.) :-)

Nanci

LOL - when I first saw those red shorts awhile back I warned all my male riding friends against buying red shorts.EEEWWW is right.
In Australia we call Speedos - D*ck stickers.

[Lise]

Dar--I second the emotion of what everyone else has written. And I know how hard it is. Last year I signed up to do a run at the end of April, a fundraiser for the Policemens' Memorial Fdn. BF at the time was a cop. I had dewy notions of us running together, or him greeting me at the finish line with flowers and kisses, or something....but not of us breaking up 2 weeks before the race! So I did the race with some friends, and had a splitting headache for two days after. I went on to have my most athletic summer ever. Sometimes I'd wake up sad, go for a run or bike hard, and the sadness was gone.

It seems to me that you might have started biking as a connection with the ex, but you've continued biking as a connection with your own spirit. Even if sometimes it feels like a way to stay connected to him, it's you doing the joyful work.

Hang in there. I've started dating someone I like, but am well aware it may all turn out differently than my fantasy. At the moment, it's fun, and a big relief to not be going on a string of frustrating first dates over and over! Hope things flow with the paramedic. You deserve a guy that's delighted with all of you, including your committment to training.

Nancy--the French! Sacre bleu! Or something like that What a creep-a-zoid. Current BF sounds like someone who actually deserves to be in the presence of your wonderfulness.

And finally, on the red spandex, I am stunned to think that guys would want to look like that. Can't imagine that they "don't know". yuch.

L.