I can't believe anyone (like a bike store and Husband) would tell you that you have to have your bike set up like an experienced road biker before you even get used to the bike. When I switched from a hybrid to a road bike, I used flat pedals and had the seat low enough that I could reach the ground with my toes. I got comfortable on the bike really quickly.

I slowly raised the seat up 1/4" at a time as I got more comfortable. I also added half toe-clips with no straps (which I still use). They keep your feet in the right place on the pedal and your feet come off easily, so you do not feel trapped. Maybe some day I'll go clipless. But I am recovering from a bike accident and am really glad I did not have clips at that time.

Then I finally learned how to get off the bike with the seat at the right height. It entails (for me), putting the right foot at the bottom of the pedal stroke and hopping off to land on my left foot. Once I got this down, I was no longer worried about falling over when I had to get off and did not need the lower seat height. It took over a year to figure this out and get comfortable.

So, don't give up or feel like a failure. Take your time and do what feels right for you. Don't listen to those other people and have unrealistic expectations of yourself. After 3 years of riding, I can ride pretty well. It takes time. I have gotten compliments from experienced club riders as 'most improved'.