I definitely get more respect in the Amish country 75-ish miles from here than I do closer to home. I think you're right about that (although typically a buggy is rear-ended by a car at least once a year ).

+1 on what everyone else has said. There are definitely roads I won't ride on. Even though you don't feel compatible with the local club, you could look at some of their routes. And if your chainstays will accommodate it, it might be worth investing in a second set of wheels with fatter tires so you can do a few miles on the gravel roads to get to quieter paved roads.