Dear Buyer:

Thank you for making an offer. We really, really hope this goes through.

Dear Real Estate Agent:

I am NOT pleased that you are handing out our lock box code to any and everyone. Especially after the whole we found the house wide open when we came home thing. I thought people like appraisers and inspectors usually came under your supervision (at least that's what you told me to get me to agree to the lock box in the first place). You've told me I absolutely can't be here. Now, you're telling me you can't be here, and the other agent won't be either. Telling me you "already gave them the code" isn't comforting. We still *live* here with our pets. I don't even know who these people are.

While we're at it - when I asked you to negotiate your commission, you asked me "what part of my marketing plan do you not want me to do?" My question for you now is "what part of your marketing plan did you actually do?" (other than hammer us to drop the price - the price you were so sure about - the night before we got an offer). I have written off your entire profession as unsavory. You have re-confirmed my crappy experiences.

Dear World:

Please let this actually close, and let us find good rental housing. This whole process is sucking.