I know the problem and just as a sidenote, have often thought that cycling shorts are just not designed right for women with larger labiae. I think the velvet-like materials they use may be comfortable for men, but for the mucous surface that women have "down there" wouldn't some kind of "slicker" surface work better? Sorry for the hijack.

I can relate to the described problems, but for myself, would be too worried about nerve damage. I'd have a hard time living a life without or with impaired feelings during sexual intercourse.