Queen, somewhere in a parallel universe there's another board where someone writes

"I'm sick of this blue state, and all these strong, healthy, outdoorsey people on their bikes and kayaks and all i want to do is sit in front of the TV and computer, maybe walk...in the mall. I long for long cold winters, wet miserable springs, hot and humid summers, followed by about a horrid week of wonderful fall. and I got it!! I'm off to Illinois"