Are you me? Seriously, you just described something close to my ideal saddle. Particularly the deep dent/cut out and the t-shape. Go figure--I need something that no one seems to make. I think there's a physical limitation there too, but you're right--men have a lot more saddle options.
Trek420, in my case, it's not the width so much as the shape and depth of cutout/indentation. I'm in the 125-130 sit bone width range, so there's still options, it's just they're all the wrong shape (I need a quite T-shaped saddle) and the cutout isn't deep enough for me in a more aggressive position.