tips for better mammogram?

[redrhodie]

I do see improvement, but I'm still so slow. Crankin, I know you'll be okay with riding easy for me, so we can make plans. I will make you see how strong and fast you are!

Last Sat, we had a woman on our group who I didn't know, who is a racer and is starting a women's ride from my lbs. She asked me how I was and I said nervous because I wouldn't be able to keep up. She kind of gave one of those upbeat you'll do great! answers that perky cheerleader types give, and I found it so annoying, as I got dropped in the first few feet. She didn't know me or that I'm fighting cancer, so I shouldn't take it out on her, but it bothered me. Bah. I used to be perky. I think I'm jealous.

But it is getting better. If the only thing I can complain about is not keeping up on the bike, things are great.

[Crankin]

I hate those perky types, too. Also, the ones who say, "You'll be fine," but really don't want to help anyone who is struggling for whatever reason. They just want their own work out. I saw that today at the gym. I guess I've always been attuned to teaching beginners, whether it was in a class or on the bike, even when I was at my super fastest/fittest. Personally, I don't care.
I will PM you.

[redrhodie]

Sorry I haven't been around for a while. My mild depression turned into depression after my last post. It was awful. I felt so bad one day, as bad as the day my mother died, that I called my oncologist for help, since I figured it was the tamoxifen wreaking havoc on my hormones. She claimed it wasn't a common SE of tamoxifen (which is contrary to everything I've read). She suggested I go to my GP for an antidepressant. I mentioned that I read that many antidepressants interfere with tamoxifen. She said "Oh, yeah" in that way that people do when they forget something they used to know, but then she stated that the jury is still out on that. I'm pretty sure she's wrong about that (or the American Cancer Society is). So, I said I didn't trust my NP to prescribe antidepressants, and did she have other suggestions? Yoga was all she could think of.

In hindsight, she should have recommended a support group, or a psychiatrist, someone trained to deal with this, someone really qualified to prescribe drugs if that was really what I needed. I wasn't able to think of these options myself at the time, but shouldn't she have been? And now it's been a couple of weeks, and she hasn't followed up which further makes me think she's a bad doctor. I've lost faith in her. I'll be finding someone new.

On the bright side, the depression went away without drugs, cycling and massage helped, but I think my body just needed to adapt to the drug. I'm still losing weight, have joint pain, my hair is brittle, but no other SE's. I am back to feeling very lucky for my life. And, I rode fast and fearlessly on the last group ride. I didn't get dropped or anything. Yay me.

I am sure the depression was related to the tamoxifen, and adjusting to the drug has been the hardest part of my treatment. I still feel lucky it's an option for me. But this part was hard.

[OakLeaf]

Hang in there Red. Thanks for the update. Hope you find a doctor you trust.

And yay you for riding ... living ... so strong!

[Crankin]

Keep riding, Red.

[redrhodie]

Thanks guys. Ride I will! Especially since I'm getting stronger, it's really helped my mood. But, feeling weak and tired was also part of the problem, so depressing.

The other thing that really helped was being around people, which was the best advice I received. My friends gave me lots of hugs through this. I think that was most important, actually. Hug therapy. Is there such a thing? It really made me feel better.

[indysteel]

(((Red))). I'm so sorry you've been feeling blue. I sure hope you find another doctor who can help you sort this out, although it sounds like you're already feeling better. Keep on keepin' on. You remain one of heroes!

[Blueberry]

((((((red)))))))

You are still an inspiration. Thank you for sharing - the good, and the bad. Let us be here for you, and know that your words will likely help someone who is going through something similar in the future.

Continue to be gentle to yourself - and ride like the wind when you feel like it!

[marni]

I am sure the depression was related to the tamoxifen, and adjusting to the drug has been the hardest part of my treatment. I still feel lucky it's an option for me. But this part was hard.

I have to agree with you. Tamoxifen did a whole depression number on me in spite of having been on anti depressants for many years. A year later I am still coping with the hot flashes and an occasional two or three day cycle of depression. At least I know now what the symptoms are and how to deal with them. My doctor was a bit more helpful than yours and was very patient with listening to me whine and complain, to reassure me that it was side effects of tamoxifen, to support exercise with a purpose, and keep a good eye on my diet including limiting but not totally, consumption of dairy, sugar and processed flour and anything not full grain.

It has helped, especially training for a purpose rather than just for exercise. I put getting myself back to full strength and endurance a priority

Glad your downer went away and hope you are soon back to your normal self. Tamoxifen is not fun but not undoable considering the alternatives.

hang in there.

marni

[redrhodie]

Thank you for that, marni. It helps knowing this was something you experienced, too.

I think I may keep my next appt. with that doctor so I can give her some feedback. She's young, and if I just leave, she won't know why. I may call the breast center nurse and discuss it with her as well.

[malkin]

It's good to hear from you ((red)).


Hug therapy sounds brilliant! I think you should write a book about it and then go on a book tour that visits all the places where TE people are and you could ride with each of us. And then you could write your next book about that!

[emily_in_nc]

Glad you are feeling better, red!

Depression sucks -- whatever the cause. Sad when the doc can't be helpful. I agree, fire her and find someone who gives a sh*t!

Nice to have you back. Sending a virtual {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}} your way!

[goldfinch]

Thank you for that, marni. It helps knowing this was something you experienced, too.

I think I may keep my next appt. with that doctor so I can give her some feedback. She's young, and if I just leave, she won't know why. I may call the breast center nurse and discuss it with her as well.

I think it is so great that you are willing to do this. It is hard for professionals to get this kind of feedback. Instead, patients/clients/customers just leave.

I am glad you are doing better.

[szsz]

Count me among those who experienced the blues after all the active aspects of treatment (surgeries / followups) was complete. I didn't connect it to the Tamoxifen -- but that makes sense. I was in a support group at the time and the facilitator assured me that it was common to feel down after all the treatment ends and it starts to sink in that this is my life now going forward after breast cancer. I also had a reasonable amount of pain every day from the surgeries and hot flashes as well. Others in the group suggested effexor, which can be taken with Tamoxifen and has the added benefit of eliminating hot flashes. I don't love that I am taking it, but it helped immensely and I am back to my happy self. I'll go off the effexor eventually; for now I am just enjoying the even keel.

(As for diet, I was vegan before I was diagnosed [still am] I eat well and I exercise strenuously 4 to 5 x /week.)