I knew you two would be here for me. Thank you.
I think maybe I never felt sad through any of this because it would interfere with treatment, and now that I'm done, the floodgates have opened. I will let myself go through this, too, don't you worry.
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What Blueberry said. Your body needs time to recover, but you'll get back to your old form in time.
For as strong and positive as you've been, I have to wonder whether you have processed through perfectly legitimate feelings of fear and sadness, too. Remember that it's okay to feel all that you're going to feel. It's not a sign of weakness or defeat. So have some good cries. My guess is that they'll be cathartic.
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
--Mary Anne Radmacher
I knew you two would be here for me. Thank you.
I think maybe I never felt sad through any of this because it would interfere with treatment, and now that I'm done, the floodgates have opened. I will let myself go through this, too, don't you worry.
'02 Eddy Merckx Fuga, Selle An Atomica
'85 Eddy Merckx Professional, Selle An Atomica
'10 Soma Double Cross DC, Selle An Atomica
Slacker on wheels.
One is so focused getting through treatments that the emotional impact often hits once you're through that. The transition from treatment to getting on with your new 'normal' takes some time. The fatigue will pass but I found it took awhile. Hang in there, you've made it this far and stayed really active during, that is a real plus to the overall scheme of things.
(((((red)))))
What Indy said. I'm glad you plan to let yourself process this all emotionally.
And I think PTSD is certainly a possibility. If you think you're having that type of symptoms, some guidance might be helpful for you. I had flashbacks for more than a year, and what I went through wasn't even close to what you've just done.
Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler
Maybe talking about cancer for so much of the ride (with my well intentioned friend) brought feelings up. I'm just having a well deserved surprise pity party, which I didn't see it coming.
I obviously need new shoes.Doesn't that always make you feel better? Or cake.
'02 Eddy Merckx Fuga, Selle An Atomica
'85 Eddy Merckx Professional, Selle An Atomica
'10 Soma Double Cross DC, Selle An Atomica
Slacker on wheels.
How 'bout wearing some new shoes while you eat cake?![]()
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
--Mary Anne Radmacher
Or eating cake while shopping for shoes.
I once read about a guy who went through multiple surgeries for cancer and several rounds of chemo, and a few years later he won a few big bike races. But that first time back on a bike, he damn near fell over he was so tired.
Just take it one day at a time...
- Gray 2010 carbon WSD road bike, Rivet Independence saddle
- Red hardtail 26" aluminum mountain bike, Bontrager Evoke WSD saddle
- Royal blue 2018 aluminum gravel bike, Rivet Pearl saddle
Gone but not forgotten:
- Silver 2003 aluminum road bike
- Two awesome worn out Juliana saddles
This is the time to be doing nice, easy, slow rides. Enjoy the view. I found when I couldn't keep up because of medical issues, I had to let myself "let it go," and focus on different kinds of riding. Eventually "it" came back, when I wasn't really thinking about it. Riding at any speed and walking are two of the best things you can do for yourself during your recovery, because both of them will regulate your emotions.
2015 Trek Silque SSL
Specialized Oura
2011 Guru Praemio
Specialized Oura
2017 Specialized Ariel Sport
Wishing you a gentle rain of confetti while you rest up!
Each day is a gift, that's why it is called the present.
Got the shoes. Feel better. Works like a charm. Didn't even need cake.
And yes, I should be and will be riding for pleasure now. I really didn't know I lost so much fitness. I obviously need more time to get back to where I was, and I'm going to let it happen without pressure.
'02 Eddy Merckx Fuga, Selle An Atomica
'85 Eddy Merckx Professional, Selle An Atomica
'10 Soma Double Cross DC, Selle An Atomica
Slacker on wheels.
What kind of shoes, pray tell! I want to live vicariously through your shopping.
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
--Mary Anne Radmacher
I got these, in mustard. They were actually waiting for me when I got home (perfect timing). My friend had ordered them for me a few days ago from Amazon, so I new they were coming. She's also my boss, so they're kind of a bonus.
They look really good on, and feel great. They're El Naturalista. She and I are both addicted to the brand, and it's dangerous because we encourage each other in this folly.
'02 Eddy Merckx Fuga, Selle An Atomica
'85 Eddy Merckx Professional, Selle An Atomica
'10 Soma Double Cross DC, Selle An Atomica
Slacker on wheels.
Definitely give yourself a break! You will get back to your previous level of fitness. I promise you. But pushing limits this early may result in delays. Revel in your accomplishments, including conquering! (I hate the survivor word, too).
And yes, it is normal to feel down after treatment ends. All of a sudden you're sort of thrust back into life away from cancer and after all the time when life revolved around treatment it can be a bit disorienting. It will normalize.
Giant TCR C3 :: Specialized Jett 143
Specialized FSR :: Terry Butterfly
Vintage Giant Road Bike :: Specialized Lithia
Yeah, I was told that physically it takes as long to recover as you were in rads - in my case 6 weeks. I would agree. Mostly tiredness.
Emotionally - obviously mightily individual.
And not necessarily the same as how you (one) has dealt with and recovered from other crises. I think the rads do something to yr brain function and the tension (trauma?) has an effect too.
Make it up as you go along...I've just been reading Tao so I'm full of going with the flow.
I always talk like the last book I've readso for what its worth - probly < 2 cents
All you need is love...la-dee-da-dee-da...all you need is love!
Thank you ladies, that really helps. I had no idea that it would take that long to recover. It's good to know that it will come back (I am worried about that) and that it's not that I'm not trying hard enough.
I'll try to go with the flow. In my new shoes.![]()
'02 Eddy Merckx Fuga, Selle An Atomica
'85 Eddy Merckx Professional, Selle An Atomica
'10 Soma Double Cross DC, Selle An Atomica
Slacker on wheels.