Dear So and So

[malkin]

Even with a good team and a protocol, behaviors can be exhausting.
Good luck!

[Biciclista]

What a strange day. for the first time since D's cancer diagnosis, he's going out of town without me. I took him to the train station this morning, he's going to visit our son in Canada and won't be home until Sunday night. Gotta tell you, that feels VERY odd.. He's nervous and excited too.

[indysteel]

What a strange day. for the first time since D's cancer diagnosis, he's going out of town without me. I took him to the train station this morning, he's going to visit our son in Canada and won't be home until Sunday night. Gotta tell you, that feels VERY odd.. He's nervous and excited too.

I hope he has a good trip and visit with your son and that you enjoy the bit of solitude this affords you. And if solitude isn't your thing, perhaps this weekend is a good opportunity to spend some time with friends.

[Biciclista]

yes, i am going to spend saturday with a gf and on sunday... i haven't told you guys about my mother and her boyfriend... I don't know where to start. i am going to visit them on Sunday and am very uncomfortable about them, they are acting like teenagers. What do teenagers do? (blush) and use (blush) and when she does these things it compromises her mental state because she's in early stages of alzheimers...

[channlluv]

I thought you meant, "use condoms," and I thought, good for her, but how would that affect her mental state, and then I thought maybe you meant something more of the herbal variety.

I'm sorry they make you uncomfortable. If she's in danger, though, or being endangered by her behavior, could you bring it up with her? Is she in a care facility or does she live on her own?

Roxy

[indysteel]

Oh, wow, Mimi. That's wacky. My question is the same as Roxy's. Is she at risk of hurting herself from this or is she sufficiently supervised.

[Biciclista]

she lives in her own home and her boyfriend moved in two weeks ago. He seems really nice (i even did a background check on him!) but she does seem to be very vulnerable. My sister now has the passwords to my mother's money market accounts at my urging...
I've been "bringing up" my mother most of my adult life... but at least then she had her full wits about her. She's still a willful person... and fiercely independent too.
We were actually relieved when she found this guy, he's a winner compared to the others. And she's the kind of woman who needs a man.

[limewave]

yes, i am going to spend saturday with a gf and on sunday... i haven't told you guys about my mother and her boyfriend... I don't know where to start. i am going to visit them on Sunday and am very uncomfortable about them, they are acting like teenagers. What do teenagers do? (blush) and use (blush) and when she does these things it compromises her mental state because she's in early stages of alzheimers...

Mimi--my grandmother dated, quite a bit after my grandfather passed away. Which was odd--they were married over 50 years (and he was her second husband)! First she dated Stormin' Norman as we called him. They went to weekly dances. And then she moved back to MI, not sure what happened with Norman. And she started dating Bill from her "Assisted Living" complex. Bill became sick and passed away after about 2 years. And then . . . she dated and eventually married Don. Which we all had reservations about this. Of course, they had a pre-nup. It was weird visiting Grandma and her boyfriends and eventual new husband.

I tease DH that he is just first of several husbands I'll have in my lifetime. My grandmother dated far more than I ever did (I married the first man I dated).

But, I have to say, Don (although I never got used to him) was very kind to my grandmother. When she became too ill and had to move to a nursing home, he visited her every single day. Read to her, helped feed her, etc. He was very sweet.

Anywho . . . as odd and uncomfortable as it was, I eventally found I was happy for my grandma. Hopefully this situation with your mom is a good one and that her new beau brings her much joy

[Biciclista]

thanks Limewave, I hope the same as you. :-) My mother has had A LOT of husbands!

[Crankin]

Malkin, of course behaviors are exhausting! I spent the morning with a 4 year old who was tantruming after a few months of progress. I really would rather be counseling adults at times like this.
I just thought that it sounded like Alexis had no support at all and could use some alternative strategies.
Mimi, my dad's mom had a "younger" boyfriend. She was 89 and he was 72. All the other yentas at Century Village were extremely jealous. I never met him, but my dad did. She outlasted him .