How to find balance

[shootingstar]

Is there another bike club for you that allows to build up more for your pace?

I don't think your DH needs to pulll away from the cycling club but he and you should find a way to cycle together, outside of the club.

Just cycling with him will challenge you most likely. Remember there are many different ways of riding hard and bike touring for several weeks with your own pannier weight, would certainly give both of you a well-rounded experiences of better fitness, marital closeness,etc.

He did belong to cycling group when I first knew him and went off to ride with others. It never bothered me since I was still a newbie and happy to tool around on my own to build up distance and stamina.

He is not the type of cyclist that belongs to cycling clubs/groups but has joined up some multi-day rides on his own...while I worked. In the cycling world, his "membership", socializing is with cycling advocates where he puts his off-bike effort.

And cycling solo across Canada and U.S. twice while..I worked. Even though we're not together during those times, it helps alot that we chat up abit about cycling. Not alot of conversation on cycling (since cycling is only a small connection between us), but we instinctively understand how to support the one another when a person is tired/hurt/discouraged or ..exhilarated.

Dearie was never the sort of rider that had to be with a pile of other riders to become stronger rider..he just did alot of it on his own. So we suit one another...semi-hermits, independently motivated but like being with other cyclists from time to time.

Because of a 16 yr. age gap between he and I, over time he will/has become slower but then it suits me. I'm also used to cycling on my own. If I wasn't, I would be shattered....we split time across 2 cities.

[Crankin]

And, I wanted to add that I have been married for 32 years...
Cycling is the first sport that DH and I have shared. While we have enjoyed many other things together, we have really made cycling/outdoor activity the focus of what we do. Some people think we are weird, in that we prefer being together rather than doing things alone. However, some of the cycling related things that I have done alone (like TE, riding with the group I found) have enhanced what we do together a lot. In fact, I think these things have influenced DH to be more of the kind of cyclist I am. He occasionally rides with the group, but it is still more my thing. Perhaps some of this is just getting older, but DH will always be stronger than me and I accept that.