Quote Originally Posted by ivorygorgon View Post
Ok, this is going to be long DH and I started riding about 3 years ago. Riding quickly developed into a passion for both of us. However, our passions are becoming divergent. DH likes to go hard all time. I like a good challenge; I want to push the envelope and develop as a cyclist, but I don't want to be in the pain cave on every ride. I like a noodle ride now and then.

We joined a cycle club, oh about 8 months ago, I guess. DH loves it and wants to hammer with the big boys. I like riding with the group. They are very nice people, and they challenge me, but they are completely out of my league and way too fast for me. On every ride I end up frustrated and discouraged. But I want to get better so I can hang.

I did just discover that I have a pretty good case of exercise induced asthma, and that is why I always end up with lungs filled with mucous, no energy in my legs, chest pain, and cough, on literally every club ride. Once my heartrate gets to a certain level - here comes the asthma! As you might guess, this leaves me unable to keep up with the group, I fall behind, get discouraged, yada yada.

On another note, DH always wants to do these really tough organized rides. He completed the Death Ride last year. We are signed up for a 100 mile, 10,000 feet of gain ride in April. We want to do a double this year, and we put a team together for the Furnace Creek 508. I thought I wanted to do these things, but now I am wondering if I do. I have kinda lost my enthusiasm and I think I would rather, maybe, sit on the couch.

So how do I find the balance? I want to ride, I want to ride with the group. I want to ride with DH. I want to be able to breathe. I want to have fun on my rides. I want to push and get better as a cyclist. I need to be challenged. But I just don't feel I can have all of those things.

I know there is TE wisdom out there! Help
I wish I had great wisdom- instead I can only offer hugs from cyberspace and a view from the other side. My DH (of 26 years (:!!!!) developed a lupus like autoimmune disease in 09 almost died- now recovered but WAY less active and also kinda lost interest. It has not hurt our marriage, we still do other stuff together. For example on vacation I get up before dawn and do a death ride or paddle then in the later day I am content to hike calmly with him. I guess what I am thinking is he should respect your health and feelings and you could maybe tell him "go ahead, get your fix" and have a moderate ride together on his other days?........hope that helps a little- hang in there and see a good Pulmonist for your asthma! (: