What's the real story on stranger danger?

[Melalvai]

I wanted to include an interview of my daughter as a post on the newspaper blog I'm writing. I don't have a huge readership, but I expect it to grow at least a bit over time. In the post I wrote, I identify her by first name only, I don't mention that she's my daughter. The title of the post is "Bicycling to school" and I do say she is a high school junior but not which high school she goes to.

My husband is upset because he feels it is too easy to identify her. I do have a picture in the post. (In the picture she is smiling, so I don't know if anyone can actually recognize her!) (Just kidding, she does smile outside of pictures, but her smiles are a precious commodity and she isn't liberal with them.)

We do live in a small town. I'm sure most kids at school could figure out who she is.

He's worried about the random psycho, which is a fear of his I've always been puzzled about. But he did raise a good point-- what is the real risk of being targeted by random psychos if you have an internet presence? I'm assuming it's very very small, and the risk we put her in every time we let her get in the car with us is much, much greater. But where are the studies, the statistics?

His other fear is friends of the kid who hit her last year. We know very little about the kid, he seemed nice and certainly was very upset about hitting her. But, he's a high school boy, and has friends who are high school boys. So I find that concern more legitimate than his other.

I want him to be happy and I'm ok with changing the post or not posting it if it really upsets him that much, even if I think his fears are unreasonable. I certainly have unreasonable fears of my own. I understand. Still, I'd like to know, especially because I frequently tell people that the risk of being killed by road rage is tiny, the real risk is inattentive drivers. But is that true? Am I telling a lie?

[Irulan]

First of all, I think people are way too paranoid these days.

Second of all, why not use a photo that doesn't show her face?

[Biciclista]

the kid that hit her might never see the blog. I agree, too much fear. If she's ok with being in it, I'd let it go. What makes you think the girls in her school will ever read your blog?

[Crankin]

I agree. Your DH's thoughts on this matter seem a bit over the top. I might not show any picture, but that's as far as I would go. Maybe a picture just showing a teen riding a bike?
Most abductions/crimes against children are perpetrated by family members or people that the family knows.

[smilingcat]

If anything, add some peace and comfort for your husband, why not add some mis-information so that it can't be your DD and if the boy in question reads it, he will read the mis-information and dismiss your DD as the focal point of the story.

And if you decide to use a photo, why not her back side, or not show her face like reading a book.

smilingcat

[shootingstar]

I would not show her face or have a photo abit far away.

There was a newspaper photo taken of me and a friend when we were 13 yrs. at a used book sale at a church ...in a town of 40,000 at that time. My face was abit down looking at a pile of books, not at the camera.

[Eden]

True psychos who target strangers are pretty rare. Most children are kidnapped by a parent, most people are murdered by someone who knows them....

I'm not saying don't take common sense precautions - but a photo without her face in it should be fine. We have a doc at our hospital who blogs about kids and parenting. Her photo is in it. She limits the photos of her children (very creatively) to ones that don't show their faces.

[Tri Girl]

I agree with the others.
Take a picture of her riding away from you on her bike, or just make it a little fuzzy so she can't easily be identified.

I also think people are far too paranoid nowadays. The world isn't nearly as bad as we are led to believe, IMO.

[Melalvai]

Thanks for the input. I did find some actual statistics for him. But then he mentioned that when he said he's concerned about "crazy people" he meant the rabid anti-cyclists. Ok, I can see that. I'm concerned about them too every day that I get honked at, yelled at, flipped off. So much hate directed at me...

I will post it with a fuzzy or old or distant picture, I'll see what I come up with.

[Melalvai]

Here's what I posted:
http://www.kirksvilledailyexpress.co...ling-to-school

That picture was taken as she was getting on her bike on the ride that ended with her smashed up on the road. She never wore that helmet again, or that pair of jeans (her favorite pair of course). The t-shirts, she begged me to sew them back up because they had sentimental value, so I did, and we were able to repair the bike.

Kind of an intense picture for me but it was the perfect one, doesn't show her face at all.

[PamNY]

Great blog post and good photo choice. The photo is perfect for the subject matter, and maintains privacy at the same time.

I'm about to go cycling and I sooooo agree about the layers of clothes for winter.

[withm]

What exactly do you mean by "Power Pedal start and stop?"

[marni]

wow if that is really your daughters own words she is extremely well spoken and lucid. Good article.

marni

[Melalvai]

wow if that is really your daughters own words she is extremely well spoken and lucid. Good article.

Thank you. It is her words, although I removed a few phrases like "My classmates are deadly". She writes a lot, mostly sci fi.

What exactly do you mean by "Power Pedal start and stop?"

Power Pedal Start is something they taught in Bike Pro, where you straddle the bike, put the pedal in the up position, and as you step on the pedal, the bike moves forward and you sit on the seat, all in one smooth move.

Similarly when you stop, you put the pedal in the down position, as you come to a stop you stand up off the seat and put your other foot down to the ground, again all in one smooth move.

It's harder to describe than it is to show... http://youtu.be/68y3o5MGc78

[ehirsch83]

I wouldn't worry to much about the photo. High school sports kids get their photos in papers all the time with names and what school/grade they attend- so not sure how it would be any different.