Issues making friends?

[indysteel]

Sometimes it seems like finding a new friend is harder than finding a significant other! I think as we get older, it's also harder because women are so busy with their kids/families, etc.
Meetup.com is a good suggestion, look for a book club, or women's social group. Also, maybe before your group rides begin, ask if anyone would like to go out for coffee/drinks/lunch, etc afterwards? Maybe there are some other newbies who are looking for friends

You know, I do think you sometimes have to approach it like dating. It seems a little weird to ask someone out on a platonic date, but that's kind of what you have to do if you want to move past just being acquaintances. Two of my best friendships more or less developed like that.

I met one of these women at a New Year's Day yoga class that had half the room crying because of the teacher's emotional "New You" theme. Aftewards, the teacher had mimosas for us. I approached the woman whose mat had been next to mine and started talking. Turns out that she was in the middle of a break-up (as was I), had just returned from living in Paris for two years (I was getting ready to go on one of my trips to Paris) and was a cyclist trying to get back into the swing of group rides. I asked her out--platonically--on the spot for coffee. We've been friends since.

Gone are the days (at least at my age) that friendships form as organically as they did in school/college. Sometimes you have to be kind of pushy with people if you sense they are friend-worthy.

[GLC1968]

Gone are the days (at least at my age) that friendships form as organically as they did in school/college. Sometimes you have to be kind of pushy with people if you sense they are friend-worthy.

I think this is VERY true. Two of my good female friendships from other locations were made this way. One was quite funny in that we'd met at a 'girls night out' birthday celebration for a mutual friend and we hit it off. We both wanted to call the other person the next day but were afraid it was 'too soon'! She took the plunge and called me to see if I wanted to go for a hike (using one one good day of weather we had before a storm hit as an excuse) and of course, I jumped on it. We were fast friends and she ended up as my matron of honor in my wedding, years later.

A lot of the opportunity to connect with people is up to chance, but it is easy to help chance out by putting yourself in situations where you'll be most likely to meet people with common interests. That's were volunteering or classes are a good idea. Then you have to be prepared to put yourself out there.

Sometimes it doesn't work (a lot of times, actually!), so don't give up. Like someone else mentioned, it only takes one good girlfriend to change your entire outlook on a location.

[Owlie]

Gone are the days (at least at my age) that friendships form as organically as they did in school/college. Sometimes you have to be kind of pushy with people if you sense they are friend-worthy.

Please don't tell me this. It took me 2-3 years of college to make friends.

[indysteel]

Please don't tell me this. It took me 2-3 years of college to make friends.

Well, let's hope it'll be different for you. Obviously, there are a lot of variables. Out of curiosity, why did you find it so challenging to make friends in college? Is there anything you would/could have done differently that you can apply as you move forward in your life?

[Melalvai]

Gone are the days (at least at my age) that friendships form as organically as they did in school/college.

Yeah, I have observed that both for myself and for other people, it's just comparatively much harder to get to know people. Everyone gets families and doesn't have time for friends. I'm guilty of that.

Online friends like us can take up some of the slack, but a real friend in the hand is so much better than imaginary... Er, I mean virtual... something like that.