Being married to a cellphone or I'm just a luddite

[shootingstar]

this is only partly related to cell phones--is how many personal phone calls some people make and receive during the workday. When did it become the norm for everybody and their brother to chat throughout the day? Several people I work with spend half the day on the phone with their spouse, friends, children, etc.

I could not function nor focus on a task at hand at work when alot of my work requires thinking, formulating words, etc. on the job. This why I don't want hardly any trivial personal phone calls comes through the day for the all the years I've worked.

Same for him. I know he and I would feel like the other person was "over parenting" the other person with trivial, nitpicking phone calls on planning, personal detail...except where we are going to meet after work.

A woman who sat in the car on our way to the restaurant, confessed she was tied to her cellpone. I said it was a different dynamic with my partner: no need. And I did say: I also don't have children...which in my mind is less of a reason for me to be glued to the phone/worry. I said there was no need for us to constantly consult what the other person was buying at the grocery store....etc. We just look into the fridge, make a judgement and if we buy an extra vegetable...big deal.

Actually when my partner's children were teens, he did not have a cell phone to monitor them. They took the subway on their own starting in their early teens, onward.


I understand partially the fascination to technology, since after all, I do use the computer alot at home after work. But for certain, the constant communication with loved ones over a cell phone, would drive me nuts. I was raised by parents who worried alot about us and were quite strict. Also I had alot of responsibilities as a first born child in a big family. So now as an adult, the whole idea of a cellphone and having people becoming overinvolved in my life, is a big turn-off.

I like to feel calmness and at peace without cellphone callers bugging me about trivial stuff. Fortunately he's like myself.

[Crankin]

Indy, I also don't get the need to be constantly tied in to my spouse and kids. What would DH and I talk about when we got home? I *never* call my sons during work time unless it is of utmost importance. I do Skype/IM (no video) my older son when he is at work, as he has it on all day for work purposes, maybe 1-2X a wk. We have some of our best conversations here, but mostly it's more of "be here at 7 on Friday." I see people on their phones in the store, like they can't figure out what food to buy without a phone call.
Oakleaf, I can see why it would be hard for you to understand why my friend's comments annoy me. There's an underlying meanness to a lot of the stuff she says. I know it's "irritability" from some kind of mood disorder, and I really need my space from her, but we have been friends for 20 years and I have distanced myself as much as I can. She is very judgmental because she feels horrible about herself, her DH has anger/verbal aggression/control issues, and her college aged son is an immature frat boy who had to be bailed out of jail for public drunkeness. Yet, she will say something back handed and snarky about one of my kids. Or, say "oh, family is so important to me, meaning it's not to me, because I don't see my dysfunctional relatives anymore and I don't talk to my dad every day. And there's lots of other stuff, too. But overall, it's like she constantly gives backhanded, even mean spirited comments to everyone because she can't see the big picture or remember stuff. Probably the most annoying thing, is that if something was a certain way, let's say 15 years ago, she thinks it's still that way. Like if in 1995, my 13 year old son did something weird, well, he still would be that way, even though he's a grown, married man.
You'd have to meet her to see it.

[Anelia]

I like to feel calmness and at peace without cellphone callers bugging me about trivial stuff. Fortunately he's like myself.

We feel the same way. DH had a colleague at his ex-workplace who was constantly talking for hours with hid wife. My husband said that if I had been like that he would have left me
I understand that sometimes people have to talk business and it's ok but small talk for many minutes on the phone drives me mad. Texting is very slow on my virtual keyboard so I don't like that either.
Well, I have been chatting with friends on the Internet since the early ages of the network and maybe this is weird for many people who prefer to go out for a drink. I explain it because I am not really talkative and very often people talk non-stop in my presence. I am a good listener and don't mind it but sometimes I need to express my thoughts too, so I prefer writing.

[spazzdog]

Though I love tech, I get really annoyed with the constant tethering to cell phones I observe... folks walking, driving, cycling, skateboarding, or even sitting next to the person they are texting.

One, in many cases it's dangerous and in many places illegal. Two, it's rude. Three, folks are losing the ability to verbally relate in social settings. Fourth, nobody seems to care.

I write a letter to someone - I get an email or text back "Hey, I got your letter!". I call someone and leave a message - IF I get a response, it's usually a text. I'm sorry, but there are certain conversations/plans that texting really misses the mark.

Bah! Part of me can't wait for the power grid to fail so I can watch people learn to write with a pencil on paper and learn social behavior in the real world.

spazz

[Pax]

My seven year old Razr phone bit the dust recently so my SO and I went out and got iphones. I take it to work and leave it on the edge of my desk, check it every couple of hours to see if she's texted me about something... then take it home and lay it in the desk. We don't even take them with us on the weekends when were together. I guess we don't "get" technology.

[channlluv]

I also don't understand people who walk around constantly talking into a cell phone, and I really don't get the earwhiggy-attachments. I don't want anything like that so close to my brain for more than a minute or two at a time, if ever.

I have an iPhone, too, and I check my email on it, and text with family and friends to confirm plans, but I don't often use the phone function. My mom will call me sometimes three or four times a day just to tell me something she forgot to tell me before...I shouldn't complain, but to be honest, I will sometimes turn my ringer off for a few days. She'll leave messages. Anyone who calls, if it's important, will leave a message. I rarely actually answer the phone. I do return messages, though not always in a timely manner.

I actually use the GPS/maps feature pretty often, but the most frequent app used is probably Scrabble. I don't use anywhere near the data minutes we're paying for, though. We should probably reevaluate our plan soon.

Roxy

[Reesha]

This thread inspired me! I have kind of a crappy basic phone, and I've been paying $86/mo for an unlimited plan I simply do not use. Beginning in January I will have 200 anytime minutes, 300 text messages and a $40/mo bill

[nscrbug]

This is a timely thread topic. My MIL has officially "canceled" Christmas (she also canceled Thanksgiving last month) this year because of a cellphone incident that occurred during Christmas last year. MIL has a house "rule"...absolutely NO cellphones during family holiday get-togethers. When my DH and I arrived at their house on Christmas Day last year, my SIL had her face buried in her iPhone texting...and this continued for the next 5 hours!!! I don't even think she saw her kids opening up their gifts, because she was too enthralled with texting or whatever it was she was doing her iPhone. This enraged my MIL so much, that the next day she informed all of us that she was canceling Christmas (and all other family holidays) from this point forward...because she didn't want to interrupt anyone's phonecalls. So because of my SIL's bad behavior last year, there will be no Christmas celebration at my inlaws ever again. Talk about one bad apple ruining it for everyone!