Living near people or big separation

[shootingstar]

Ok, let me turn the question around (for those who live in areas with less access to transit, with children...):

If you had a choice, would you want to live closer to people or you like alot of acreage around you to separat yourself from neighbours?

I perceive this as the fundamental difference between more rural folk vs. city folks. For instance, I would not enjoy living 1 km. away from my closest neighbour. I don't like that type of isolation...I actually find it scary.

Maybe my lifestyle by not having a car, gives me that attitude.

But also I've grown up in a family of 8 people and know how to live fine in tight quarters. Generally speaking I have lived near ok and great neighbours. Some wierd ones. But it is part of urban living.

[limewave]

I prefer living near amenitites Grocery store, post office, schools, parks, beach, shopping, etc.

I have not lived out in the country, but I have lived in a residential suburb. I HATED having to drive everywhere. I felt like I spent all of my time in my car, it was horrible.

I moved back into the "city" with a little apartment right downtown. I had a longer commute to work, but once I was home I never needed to get in the car again.

DH thought he preferred the having acreage and living in the country. I was adamant that I wanted to live in town, we finally found a house we agreed on. It's hard to explain, but the front of the house is in the city and the back of the house has a country feeling (no neighbors behind us, just a hill and a lake).

DH has been converted to city living. He enjoys that its a nice place to run at night with lighted streets/sidewalks, everything is close and within walking and biking distance, friendly neighbors that help out when you need it . . .

For the kids, they have neighbor kids to play with. They can walk to school, friends houses, to the convenience store for a snack. There are 4 playgrounds within a mile radius.

We are fortunate to live in a unique location, a bit of city and then less than 5 miles away are the beautiful shores of Lake Michigan and a state park with miles of hiking.

Specifically on the car issue--I like having my car but I like living in a location where we are not dependent on it

[OakLeaf]

The thing that I really can't take about living in town is the light pollution.

I sometimes tell people I'm sensitive to light, but I really think it's the opposite - that I'm one of the lucky few who gets to live away from light pollution for most of the year, so when I'm exposed to it, I'm aware of my body's acute reaction to it, while most people just suffer sleep trouble, depression, high blood pressure, diabetes, weight gain, breast cancer, and all the other health problems linked to disruption of circadian rhythms, and they never connect it to the freakin' street lights shining in their bedroom windows.

If it weren't for street lights and security lights, I'd miss the country, but I could be fully immersed in the joys of living in town. As it is, if I had to choose one, I'd choose the country, but I do appreciate the ability to bike wherever I want to go when I'm staying in town - or walk/take transit when I'm visiting the city.

I lived for several years in a non-bikeable town. That was really the worst of both worlds. Most smaller towns in the USA are like that, I think.

[Jolt]

I prefer living near amenitites Grocery store, post office, schools, parks, beach, shopping, etc.

I have not lived out in the country, but I have lived in a residential suburb. I HATED having to drive everywhere. I felt like I spent all of my time in my car, it was horrible.

I moved back into the "city" with a little apartment right downtown. I had a longer commute to work, but once I was home I never needed to get in the car again.

DH thought he preferred the having acreage and living in the country. I was adamant that I wanted to live in town, we finally found a house we agreed on. It's hard to explain, but the front of the house is in the city and the back of the house has a country feeling (no neighbors behind us, just a hill and a lake).

DH has been converted to city living. He enjoys that its a nice place to run at night with lighted streets/sidewalks, everything is close and within walking and biking distance, friendly neighbors that help out when you need it . . .

For the kids, they have neighbor kids to play with. They can walk to school, friends houses, to the convenience store for a snack. There are 4 playgrounds within a mile radius.

We are fortunate to live in a unique location, a bit of city and then less than 5 miles away are the beautiful shores of Lake Michigan and a state park with miles of hiking.

Specifically on the car issue--I like having my car but I like living in a location where we are not dependent on it

I pretty much agree...I'm single and don't have any kids but still feel that living in town is the most practical thing, unless one is going to have a farm and be somewhat self-sufficient. The peace and quiet of living in the country would be nice, but I would not enjoy having to spend a ton of time in the car to do everyday errands. It's nice to have some things within walking/biking distance (including work--the hospital is about 0.6 miles from my apartment). That said, I could not live in a big city like NYC etc.--too many people too close together and too much noise. The town I am in has a population of about 21,000 and has all the everyday amenities, and we also have access to the beach and more rural areas fairly close by (though I wish there were longer hikes closer...the places where one can really cover some distance are all an hour or more away, unless there are any I haven't heard about yet).

[Reesha]

For me, the perfect situation was living at a boarding school (one of the coolest ones on earth) that was located in the heart of the Adirondacks on the outskirts of a very sporty town. I had the benefits of living within 200 yards of a number of interesting, active people. I had the benefits of living in mountain heaven, with fresh air and all the playground I could ever want. I had the benefits of Lake Placid, a little slice of culture and fun in the middle of nowhere.

It's pretty much perfect. I wouldn't be surprised if I wound up there again someday.

[grey]

If it weren't for street lights and security lights, I'd miss the country, but I could be fully immersed in the joys of living in town. As it is, if I had to choose one, I'd choose the country, but I do appreciate the ability to bike wherever I want to go when I'm staying in town - or walk/take transit when I'm visiting the city.

I lived for several years in a non-bikeable town. That was really the worst of both worlds. Most smaller towns in the USA are like that, I think.

Agree with everything 100%. DH thinks I am nuts sometimes - I have curtains for our windows for when our neighbors leave their outside light on, and I'll get up and turn off our outside light - which is at the far end of the house from our room - because just that little bit coming through the window at the other end of the house will make me wake a few times during the night. I also insist on low light in the house at night. He's really bad about turning on the big recessed lights - which make the house brighter than day. I think he's finally understanding that when he does that... he can't fall asleep even hours after bedtime.

I prefer country, but need to be a little closer to civilization than we are now. We live in a tiny nothing town, but I am seconds from some of the best country cycling this country has to offer. I want to be closer to Chattanooga for things like, organic groceries, restaurants and "date nights" - currently, that's an hour drive. Oh, and closer to jobs.

[Crankin]

I would not want to live right in the city. At one point, I thought I would, but if you mean a city like Boston, NYC, etc, no. I can't stand the density of people, noise, etc. There are other cities that are a bit different, that I could maybe live in.
I live in a further out suburb that is considered slightly rural to those who live in the city. I moved here because there are actually 2 "downtown" areas with stores and restaurants, and a commuter train. But, I don't live close enough to walk to any of this, unless it's for a serious 8 mile hike round trip! (it's just under 4 miles). I feel like I have the perfect combination for me, as it feels like I live in the country, yet I am just under 2 miles from a major highway and very close to most things I need (within a 5 mile radius). It's hilly and a great area for cycling and other outdoor activity. We tried to buy a house closer to the shopping area, but it didn't work out. Since I used to live in 2 really more rural suburbs in the area, this feels much closer to Boston (it is by about 10-15 miles) and the fact that there are actually destinations I frequent in my town (coffee shops, restaurants, bakeries, health club) helps.
When we eventually sell this place (5-8 years), we will look for a townhouse/condo within walking distance of preferably West Concord center, as it is a little more down to earth, with lots of artsy type places and it is closer to our former community and friends.

[lph]

I like having it all

Oslo is probably a small town to most of you. The town itself is easily bikeable, and from most of the residential areas around Oslo you can also bike into town given just a little bit of oomph. The single best thing about it is that it's surrounded by woods, and lies on the coast as well, so the affluent or lucky ones can live by the seaside. We also have decent public transportation, at least if you keep your wits about you when picking where to live.

I spent most of my childhood years in an isolated area, not more than an hours drive out of Oslo, but very sparsely populated, and I would not go back to living that way. We didn't have a car, so we were dependent on the bus which ran at best once an hour, we scarcely had any neighbours and our circle of contacts was just very limited. Any socializing had to be rigorously planned. I wouldn't mind living like that if I had a large family and somewhat more friends and neighbours around, but that degree of isolation I would not choose.

It did leave me with a need to "keep my back free", though. I live right up against the woods surrounding Oslo, and can wander right into them in the course of minutes and be gone for hours, without having to cross a single road, just minor driveways. Living like that makes me happy I like having neighbours, and I very much enjoy having large communal green areas where kids play, people walk their dogs, you bump into people you know. But I still need to have one side "free". A park is not the same.

btw, since being car-free has come up - that was a big part of choosing where to live. We wanted close to the woods, not more than about 25 min by public transport/35 minutes by bike to the town centre, and then within our budget of course. Stuck a pin and drew a circle, and narrowed it down.

[jessmarimba]

I could be happy either in a cabin away from everything or in the middle of the city. It's the suburbs I hate. I'm surrounding by people but nothing useful is in walking distance. Except a gas station, which by nature probably needs driven to.

[roadie gal]

I live in a town of 16,000 people, in a house on 2 acres. My neighbors are close but I still have my privacy. This is just perfect for me. I can't stand living right on top of people.

I'd bike to work in the summer except for the 1000 ft climb in the middle of the ride. I can't face that climb on the ride home after a long day at work.

[Reesha]

I could be happy either in a cabin away from everything or in the middle of the city. It's the suburbs I hate. I'm surrounding by people but nothing useful is in walking distance. Except a gas station, which by nature probably needs driven to.

Ditto here.

[shootingstar]

I like having it all

Oslo is probably a small town to most of you. The town itself is easily bikeable, and from most of the residential areas around Oslo you can also bike into town given just a little bit of oomph.

Surely, lph you don't think North America is full of urban megacities? I bet alot of Europeans and Asians perceive huge hunks of North America as the last stop (next to parts of Africa and central Australia) as having more protected large wild (and some dangerous) animals still running around. (That's reality..for Germans at least.)

Yup, I like having it all, the conveniences within a 15 min. or half hr. walk.

And I have for 3 major cities over 1 million. I grew up in a town at the time, when town was 30,000 and we lived downtown at that time too near bus stop. This is in southern Ontario...in 1960's to 1970's.

I actually don't like sleeping in country homes, that's pitch black. I have done so with friends who live in very rural areas. My partner also had a farm when I initially knew him.

Because I don't have children and have lived alone (without any dogs) at different times in life, I really don't want to sleep in a neighbourhood that is totally pitch black and isolated. I don't feel safe. Forget it.

Limewave, I've in lived in homes that have faced water body (creek in middle of downtown) or river just only a few blocks away or better a huge lake /ocean body just 5 kms. away or less. Living downtown or near a major shopping area in 3 big cities. So have been fortunate with parkland, etc. to give the pseudo country feel.

Of course all of this with bike routes running by home or less than .5 km. away.

[indysteel]

I could be happy either in a cabin away from everything or in the middle of the city. It's the suburbs I hate. I'm surrounding by people but nothing useful is in walking distance. Except a gas station, which by nature probably needs driven to.

This is how I tend to feel, too. I like urban settings a lot, but I'd prefer to live in an urban setting where there is also a fair amount of green space, too. Downtown Indy wasn't ideal for me in that regard, although I otherwise liked living downtown. A city like Portland would be better (for a lot of reasons). But I'm also not one to be particularly chummy with my neighbors--although this is perhaps more of a reflection on having has some really lousy neighbors over the years and would appreciate having some land, too.

How happy I am in my environment has more to do with how like minded the community is than it's size or density. I hate where I live now, not because it's a small town, but because it's an extremely conservative small town lacking in any diversity. Compare that to the smallish town where I went to college that I loved, mostl because it is pretty liberal and diverse. I could be happy in the country if there was some degree of progressiveness there, too.

[Biciclista]

I could be happy either in a cabin away from everything or in the middle of the city. It's the suburbs I hate. I'm surrounding by people but nothing useful is in walking distance. Except a gas station, which by nature probably needs driven to.

I agree with Jess here.
I lived in the center of a 50 acre farm. When the corn was tall, I couldn't see any neighbors, in the winter, I could see their houses but the closest one was 1000 feet away. I LOVED it.

I also love living in the city. As long as I have my postage stamp-sized yard, my OWN turf, I am happy. Not sure if i would like living in a high rise apartment although since D has been in the hospital on the 10th floor, I have REALLY been enjoying the panoramic view!!

[Jolt]

Oslo is probably a small town to most of you.

I just looked up the population of Oslo..."small" does NOT describe that! "Wicked big" is more like it (especially when I think about how the biggest city in my state has just a little over 10% of that number of people...wow!). Not a small town by anyone's measurement...well, maybe compared to NYC or something like that. Actually, it's probably similar in size to Boston.