what would you do?

[Grits]

Another thing is, I really DON'T want to communicate with him. He still manages to text me once a week but I ignore them (he even sent this card which he obviously put a lot of effort into to memorialize my father's one year anniversary of his death). IF I write to him, it will be opening a dialogue I don't want to engage in. But I would also feel bad if I sold his stuff (his bindings, anyways) without at least telling him. Ugh.

What would you do?

Badger, I remember the post after you first broke up with him, and he was continuing to contact you far past what a reasonable person would do. In that thread you got a lot of advice about discontinuing all communications with him for your own peace and safety. For that reason, I would try very hard to think of a way to resolve this without contacting him. You really don't want to open that door again.

I think I would get the snow board you purchased for him whenever and however you can and sell it. Don't offer it to him - just sell it. Forget about the bindings or anything that might complicate matters or force you into contacting him. These are all just things. Don't let yourself stress over them. If he wants them badly enough, they are his responsibility, not yours. He can find a way to get them.

[indysteel]

I tend to agree with Grit in that I would do everything in your power to avoid having to communicate with him about this. I would see if your friend in Washington would mind selling the snowboard on Craigslist or eBay. Give the possessions you have of your ex's to his friend and leave it at that. As for the bindings, I would do nothing for the time being with them if your friend doesn't mind holding on to them. Perhaps he/she could communicate with him directly to figure out a mutually agreeable solution. And by mutual, I mean as between the two of them. Do not participate in those negotiations and make it clear to your friend that you will not be part of the solution. I am not suggesting at this point that you just sell them because, well, do they belong to him. In time, I think you could make a case that he simply abandoned them if he makes no attempt to retrieve them, but I'm not sure that time has yet come.

[pll]

I think I'd consider the board a complete loss. I'd drop everything at his friend's house and forget about it, not engage him in any sort of conversation or negotiation. Peace is worth more than $530.

[indysteel]

I think I'd consider the board a complete loss. I'd drop everything at his friend's house and forget about it, not engage him in any sort of conversation or negotiation. Peace is worth more than $530.

Why consider the board a complete loss if she can sell it? The board is in Washington State; Badger lives in Canada and the ex lives in England. If I understand Badger's email, she was planning to drop of the possessions that she has with her in Canada at a friend of his in Canada. She can't do the same with the board, at least not without incurring an import fee, because it's in the U.S. So, she might as well have her friend in WA sell it. The board presents a slightly thornier issue in that it doesn't belong to her. I think she needs to make some effort, if only indirectly, to put the ball in his court before disposing of it in some way.

[Biciclista]

sell it. He can't bother to pay for it. If he really wanted it he would have paid for it a long time ago. if he ever gets back to this side of the world, he'll want a new one anyway. Sell it and let it go.

[Irulan]

sell it. He can't bother to pay for it. If he really wanted it he would have paid for it a long time ago. if he ever gets back to this side of the world, he'll want a new one anyway. Sell it and let it go.

I'm with this. I mean, seriously, he's thousands of miles away and hasn't made an effort for it? Plus, if you paid for it technically it's yours not his, unless you have a contract stating otherwise. I see that you are letting yourself be manipulated still over this stuff.

[ny biker]

i'm with this. I mean, seriously, he's thousands of miles away and hasn't made an effort for it? Plus, if you paid for it technically it's yours not his, unless you have a contract stating otherwise. I see that you are letting yourself be manipulated still over this stuff.

+1000

[Gypsy]

I don't know the whole story, but I would sell the board.

Look, he didn't want the board long enough to have it shipped from Washington to Canada or to England.

He doesn't want the board bad enough. Sell it, get some of your money back, and call it a day. One less thing to worry about -- and one less thing to keep you connected to him.

[pll]

Why consider the board a complete loss if she can sell it? The board is in Washington State; Badger lives in Canada and the ex lives in England. If I understand Badger's email, she was planning to drop of the possessions that she has with her in Canada at a friend of his in Canada. She can't do the same with the board, at least not without incurring an import fee, because it's in the U.S. So, she might as well have her friend in WA sell it. The board presents a slightly thornier issue in that it doesn't belong to her. I think she needs to make some effort, if only indirectly, to put the ball in his court before disposing of it in some way.

I forgot the detail of the board and bindings being in Washington. <sorry Badger!> That's a headache.

I'd still resist the idea of engaging him, but, Badger, if you do, have a clear time line and options, so it is not an invitation for continued negotiation and pleading.