Cool on the dog thing.. There is one on the IMAZ loop that has fun w/ all us cyclists. It's another reason to have an extra water bottle filled w/water on the down tube. If you squirt them in the face it usually startles them enough to safely get by w/ out hurting the dog..
Now as for the bung holes on bikes...
I would have said something snotty back to them. Like "yeah, too bad I'm doing my EASY ZONE 1 workout today. And I refuse to change my training plan just to show you how to really ride".. Or something like that. I've gotten alot faster w/ my comebacks over the years... It comes w/ the territory when your the poster child for chubby endurance athletes..
One day I was riding and I heard a bike coming up on my left. I turned looked the guy square in the eye as he was riding past me, smiled, and said hi. And let me tell you- he looked me in the eye so I KNOW he saw me smile at him! Well he looked right through me as if I didn't exist. He had a full kit on, was riding a fancy colnago and the whole works. I just made some comments under my breath about him giving roadies a bad name or something..
Well not 5 minutes later I found him splayed across the pavement in some scree. He took the turnaround too quick. I stopped and helped him. Gave him my phone to call his wife, went over to the school and filled his water bottle so he could wash out his road rash and offered him some stuff out of my mini first aid kit...
As much as I wanted to ride by him laughing and screaming THATS KARMA FOR YOU DUDE!! I'm also not like that AT ALL!! No matter what I'll always help someone in need. Even if they are JERKS! And let me tell you, even after all that he barely mustered a "thanks".. But I know *I* did the right thing...
So whatever...