bmccasland, be patient with yourself as you figure out how to redo your holidays (and you will figure out how to redo them to suit you, I promise!).

My Thanksgiving holiday tradition has evolved to be a several-hour bike ride, followed (sometimes) by a steak dinner (filet mignon, grilled mushrooms, asparagus, Béarnaise sauce, salad, and a baked potato, and oh, yes, I use the Béarnaise sauce on everthing except the salad!) with red wine. This meal is easy and comparatively quick to cook, so I'm not spending all day in the kitchen, and it's a meal I really really really like. (I usually make it just for holidays.) And after dinner, I do a ton of online Christmas shopping!

I look forward to this! My exH#1 (yes, yes, I get to number them now) has a family that cherishes the Big Family Dinner, so for Thanksgiving, even if it's my turn to have the kid with me, I think it's good for the kid to go to those Big Family Dinners. The kid and I will have our Thanksgiving meal on Saturday; I'm not cooking tomorrow. It's taken some years for my tradition to evolve, and sometimes I do do something different (volunteer somewhere, go to a friend's), but now this is what I usually do.

(My attitude is that my happiness is up to me. On my most recent birthday I felt pretty sad, I went out and bought Georgetown Cupcakes, called a 20-minute unit meeting, asked people to bring their own napkins, and we sat around eating cupcakes, my treat. Best meeting ever, and it completely turned my day around! I now have these meetings every four-six weeks. )