Food choice defensive

[ny biker]

I often skip the turkey at Thanksgiving. There are just other foods I prefer to fill my plate with. No one in my family seems to notice.

I really can't think of a time when someone in my family harshed on someone else because of their diet. We don't generally talk about special diets, either. If someone is making changes for health reasons and they want to talk about it, it's just a normal discussion, maybe with expressions of sympathy if the person is unhappy that they can no longer have some of their favorite foods, but otherwise, it just is what it is.

I have a good friend who will stick her finger in her mouth and make gagging sounds if I mention food that I like but that she thinks is gross. Nonetheless I don't say anything when we're meeting for lunch and she orders something that I find revolting. Hell, I'm not the one eating it.

[jessmarimba]

I get tired of paleo-preachers. I have nothing against the diet, but we really have limited evidence of its historic accuracy (and I say this as a former archaeologist). A lot of paleo followers are worse than religious fanatics in their absolute belief in the diet. My sister is one of them and it drives me up the wall. If I don't berate her for eating beef and bacon 4 times a day, I expect to be left alone about my preferences for beer, pasta and granola. I'm glad she's lost a lot of weight on her diet but what I'm eating isn't exactly making me fat, either. I don't have inflammation issues, I don't have skin problems, I don't have chronic fatigue, or whatever else gluten is supposed to cause in non-celiac people. Just let me eat in peace.

[Owlie]

I get tired of paleo-preachers. I have nothing against the diet, but we really have limited evidence of its historic accuracy (and I say this as a former archaeologist). A lot of paleo followers are worse than religious fanatics in their absolute belief in the diet. My sister is one of them and it drives me up the wall. If I don't berate her for eating beef and bacon 4 times a day, I expect to be left alone about my preferences for beer, pasta and granola. I'm glad she's lost a lot of weight on her diet but what I'm eating isn't exactly making me fat, either. I don't have inflammation issues, I don't have skin problems, I don't have chronic fatigue, or whatever else gluten is supposed to cause in non-celiac people. Just let me eat in peace.

This. If it works for you, great! I'll just keep eating what I'm eating.
which isn't all that much at the moment...

I'm an "everything in moderation, including moderation" person.

[westtexas]

i'm an "everything in moderation, including moderation" person.

+1

[Catrin]

Owlie - I hope you are feeling better soon!

[Susan]

Also all the time I try to eat 'clean' and people don't understand that I mean all the time, not just here and there. (Oh come on, it won't hurt you just this once...) Well, it will hurt me if I do it once. I guarantee it will. And I have specific reasons why I eat 'clean' and don't cheat that I don't share on open forums. PM is fine, and I've done that a lot. Anyway.

When I eat, I consider it an opportunity to become more healthy. Why screw with that? I like homemade whole grain pitas with raw almond butter and raw honey. (Just made myself hungry).

What I find is that people try to force me to eat garbage, like it's a deprivation if I don't have it. And it's a personal affront to them when I refuse. But there are some things I just don't consider edible; I don't want them and don't enjoy them either.

Oh I can relate to that very much. I'm very frustrated about people trying to force garbage down my throat "just this one time" EVERY TIME we see each other. In fact, it has become a reason for me to visit my family less often, because "just this one time" on two days each week is just too much.
And if DH and I should refuse they make such fuss about it, I can't decide if it's worse to eat the garbage or hear their lamenting if I don't.

[shootingstar]

Maybe one way around dealing with family members who nearly force/wheedle unhealthy food that you don't like, is to do the reverse compliment:

Ask that they make a dish that you do LOVE/enjoy. That's how I dealt with my mother piling on tons of food for me whenever I visited her. I didn't want her to spend more money preparing food care pkgs., when I was earning an income myself.

So I pointed out a few favourites, foods that I don't prepare myself but they are my mother's specialty and I enjoy eating it later/or there at their home.

This tactic might not work if a family member eats too many different types of unhealthy food. Fortunately it's not the case for us, there is choice.

[Susan Otcenas]

I was just wondering from you guys - have you ever had others questions your food choices and you felt kind of defensive about it? Certainly ever is entitled to eat whatever they want to eat, no matter how good/bad it may be for you/them, but when people say things about your personal diet does it upset you?

You thought you were just selecting different food, but everyone acts like you're making a statement, like you're trying to break away.

OK, so I'm just going to put this out there as something for folks to think about.... (Keep in mind that I follow a pretty restrictive diet too, so I understand how hard it is when someone questions your/my choices)... but hasn't anyone but me noticed that the word "garbage" has come up several times already in this thread?

"What I find is that people try to force me to eat garbage...."
"I'm very frustrated about people trying to force garbage down my throat..."

So, it seems to me that on one hand people are complaining that they don't like that people are being judgmental about their restrictive food choices, but at the same time are being quite judgmental about the food choice of other people.

You may not be *using* words like "garbage" when talking to other people about your/their food choices, but we speak with more than words.

Incidentally, this isn't directed at anyone in particular, so my apologies to those of you I've quoted here. Again, like I said, I have my own set of food restrictions that lots of people don't "get", so I'm sympathetic to the notion that people might be judging me for my choices as well.

[bmccasland]

I try to eat healthy, honest, but am a closet junk food junkie.

I think some people "got religion of diet." They've been SAVED, and therefore thinks everyone else needs to hear the good word, often.

[jessmarimba]

I try to eat healthy, honest, but am a closet junk food junkie.

I think some people "got religion of diet." They've been SAVED, and therefore thinks everyone else needs to hear the good word, often.

Ya know, that's a very apt description. Probably why it irks me at the same level.

And I'm a junk-food junkie myself. Not regularly, but it's the novelty that gets me. If I'm in a town with a Hardees (so rare in my radius of work) you can bet I'm going to have a cinnamon raisin biscuit for breakfast! Same for Dunkin Donuts, etc.

[GLC1968]

I think some people "got religion of diet." They've been SAVED, and therefore thinks everyone else needs to hear the good word, often.

I think this is true. And it sucks for those of us who might be following the same type of diet but without the same evangelical bent. I swear that it's gotten much easier for me if I don't even mention the word 'paleo'. That seems to set people immediately on the defensive. If I just say that I'm avoiding grains (the most bizarre part of the diet), I do have explain/defend my choice, but at least it doesn't get testy.

But I can't help but wonder what gives people the right to always ask 'why'? I mean, if I say I'm not eating nuts or not eating dairy or not eating red meat, no one questions it. Say you aren't eating grains and it's a guarantee that every single time, you'll get a 'but WHY?!'. I find it very interesting and it's making me rethink how I interact with people, too. I'm sure that 6 months ago, I would have been asking 'why' just like the next person! Now I'm trying to be more aware of my conversations on all fronts (not just about my diet, but about others' as well).

[Veronica]

I totally p!ssed off my trainer because I went on a Welch's fruit snack binge last week. She doesn't understand why anyone who works as hard as I do would want to essentially pour sugar down her throat. Those things are like a drug for me. I ate so many I thought I was going to barf - seriously.

Veronica

PS GLC those cookbooks you mentioned are in my wishlist at Amazon. I have no desire to "be paleo" but I miss my winter cooking (chicken pot pie, mac & cheese, creamy soups!) and I'm hoping I'll find some healthier alternatives in there.

[GLC1968]

Welches fruit snacks? Are those like fruit roll-ups or dried fruit things? That's a pretty funny thing to binge on, you know!

So far, all of the books have proven to be worth having. They aren't always the best cookbooks (weird directions, no serving sizes, photos that don't match the recipes, etc), but the recipes themselves are all turning out really good.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are zero recipes for mac and cheese. That's probably the one food that could, in no way, EVER be made paleo. Chicken pot pie, creamy soups, lots of winter squash recipes, and a great chili recipe are included though.

[Veronica]

Welches fruit snacks? Are those like fruit roll-ups or dried fruit things? That's a pretty funny thing to binge on, you know!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are zero recipes for mac and cheese. That's probably the one food that could, in no way, EVER be made paleo. Chicken pot pie, creamy soups, lots of winter squash recipes, and a great chili recipe are included though.

They're like gummy bears but with 100% of your vitamin c for the day. It's a good thing you can't overload on vitamin c.

Yeah, I figured probably no mac and cheese. If no one in my family gets the books for me for Christmas, I'll get them after the holidays. I use to do so much cooking and baking... all tasty, none of it really healthy.

Veronica

[Selkie]

I think some people "got religion of diet." They've been SAVED, and therefore thinks everyone else needs to hear the good word, often.

At work, there is this group of paleo adherents/crossfit fanatics who preach to everyone else about proper diet (of course, all of them are self-taught nutrition "experts" who will lecture on glycemic levels, etc).

I don't believe in diets. Was raised in a bland meals, no-junk-food-allowed household, after school treat was an orange in our house. My mom was truly before her time in terms of insisting on good eating habits, albeit on a budget. On special occasions and holidays, she could really do it up well (she was an extremely talented cook and baker---her pie crust was the best---never used a recipe). We really looked forward to and appreciated the holidays and celebrations. Since she died, I haven't been able to have a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Nothing could ever compare to her turkey, stuffing, homemade gravy, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and yes, even the jello salad (lime with a canned pear preserved in it, sitting on a bed of iceberg lettuce).

This is probably why I can happily live on yogurt and cereal. Don't eat meat except fish.