Food choice defensive

[Melalvai]

This is a topic I've grown curious about recently. Other people's food choices seem to generate so much defensiveness and antagonism in us. What we eat is about so much more than fuel and nutrition. It defines us as a group. Like the clothes we wear, the words we say, the language we speak, our entertainment. So when someone tries to break away from that it's like you're wearing your jeans around your knees and you just got a bunch of tattoos and piercings. You thought you were just selecting different food, but everyone acts like you're making a statement, like you're trying to break away.

[gnat23]

"More cupcakes for me, then! HA!"

-- gnat! (seriously, if they don't want cupcakes, they don't have to eat cupcakes, but I believe coworkers should only complain about food if someone has microwaved stinky fish leftovers)

[westtexas]

This is a topic I've grown curious about recently. Other people's food choices seem to generate so much defensiveness and antagonism in us. What we eat is about so much more than fuel and nutrition. It defines us as a group. Like the clothes we wear, the words we say, the language we speak, our entertainment. So when someone tries to break away from that it's like you're wearing your jeans around your knees and you just got a bunch of tattoos and piercings. You thought you were just selecting different food, but everyone acts like you're making a statement, like you're trying to break away.

It's true. I'm just doing something better for me, for my health, and you guys are right - it's none of their business unless I want to tell them about it. And yet they treat me like I've got some kind of weird "problem". Apparently you're not a normal human being if you don't eat flour or dairy. Nutrition has always fascinated me - first in my patients, now in my own body - and it's surprising to see the social aspects of it, both good and bad, first hand. It's tough too when there are only 11 people in your entire workplace.

And, for those of you who want to try it:

Smoked Paprika Chicken Thighs (modified for how I made it):

Ingredients:
8 bone-in, skin on, organic chicken thighs
2 tsp smoked paprika (McCormick's makes a nice one)
2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tbsp red palm oil (virgin, unrefined, from Africa. I got mine at http://www.tropicaltraditions.com/red_palm_oil.htm and it came in about a week)
Salt and pepper to taste

Process:
1. Preheat oven to 425˚F
2. Rinse chicken thighs, pat dry with a paper towel, and place in a large ziploc bag.
3. in a small mixing bowl, combine spices & red palm oil (the oil is solid at room temp, so I found that if you stuck the mix in the microwave for about 30 seconds, it melted enough to make a liquid spice mix)
4. Pour seasoning over chicken, seal bag, and toss until chicken is fully coated.
5. Place chicken thighs on a broiling pan and sprinkle with salt and pepper (skin side up). For this, I used my cast iron skillet on the middle oven rack and it worked perfectly.
6. Bake at 425˚F for 40-45 minutes.

I paired the thighs with this recipe:

Oven roasted Okra:

Ingredients:
1 pound okra (whole), washed
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons cumin
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

Process:
1. Preheat oven to 400˚F (I used the 425 oven from the chicken thighs just fine)
2. Toss okra in olive oil to coat and place on to a sheet pan in a single layer
3. Combine all dry spices and sprinkle over okra, mixing well (after making this, I think the oil + okra + spices in a ziploc would work better)
4. Bake for 5-7 minutes then turn over onto the other side, cooking for another 3-5 minutes (took 5 minutes on each side in my 425 oven)

[westtexas]

"More cupcakes for me, then! HA!"

-- gnat! (seriously, if they don't want cupcakes, they don't have to eat cupcakes, but I believe coworkers should only complain about food if someone has microwaved stinky fish leftovers)

This is actually what I did. I took the rest home, microwaved them to warm up the custard center and put fresh strawberries on them. YUM.

[shootingstar]

What we eat is about so much more than fuel and nutrition. It defines us as a group. Like the clothes we wear, the words we say, the language we speak, our entertainment. So when someone tries to break away from that it's like you're wearing your jeans around your knees

It should be just treated as fuel and nutrition which it is if one is cycling more than 100 km. and just needs nutrition and drink/water!

Well, you get the picture. While eating Chinese food, is just another type of cuisine for some folks...to me, some of the dishes I prepare is like comfort, cultural / family memories that isn't pure Chinese food all the time, but an intersection of Chinese food and Canadian experience: how my mother adapted local ingredients with her spin when in the 1960's, Asian ingredients in small Ontario cities were very rare.

Most likely when she dies, some of her dishes which I prepare casually without any recipe (it's all passed down by me watching her) will have some greater meaning.

For people who criticize Chinese food which has become salty, oily in some restaurants (some places have smartened up and gotten back to basics.), I will tell them: the foundation of my good health, my weight... I credit to my mother's style of cooking where she skimmed off the fat, reduced use of salt and oil, etc.

Of course, there's the other stuff, lovely desserts acquired from knowing dearie's German cooking background/childhood....

If a person has medical condition that they tell me, of a strong allergic reaction to a food, then I will pay attention. Today I was talking to a Indonesian co-bakery owner here in town and told him that several nieces and nephews were allergic to nuts...enough that they end up in the hospital. It came up because it is something all bakers must consider now. Of course Indonesian cuisine use peanut...

They're looking into making a gluten-free cream puff...but it's tough. They might abandon this effort and offer a totally different product for customers wanting gluten-free desserts at catered functions.

[marni]

of course the classic (Merci ma mere) response whenever anyone asks or says anything like that is to look at them, deeply and sincerely and sweetly ask "whatever would make you ask (say) that?" Makes them responsible for their question, comment. One of my mothers
other ittle ditties was" the wise old owl was a funny bird, the less he spoke the more he heard, the more he heard, the more he knew, now I think that's a wise old owl, don't you?"

just sayin

marni

[VeganBikeChick]

I'm also vegan, Atlas. Funnily enough, my family gives me the hardest time - not coworkers or friends. They call all my food "weird sh**", "weird" being things like quinoa and soymilk. However, my dad is currently in end stage renal disease due to his poor diet choices. Every single one of his siblings (9!) has diabetes, and 3 of his brothers, plus him, have all had open heart surgery. I'll pass, thanks.

Don't let the naysayers get to you, wt. I'd have loved one of your cupcakes .

[shootingstar]

Every single one of his siblings (9!) has diabetes, and 3 of his brothers, plus him, have all had open heart surgery.

Scary.

[Dannielle]

I can absolutely relate. The way I eat is considered odd, even extreme, by most people I interact with. It's awkward at times. I don't mind answering questions (the way I eat has completely changed my life...I used to be 200lbs overweight and was dealt with a host of autoimmune issues which are now gone) but it gets weird when someone brings it up then gets defensive when I answer their questions. I have to always choose my words very carefully to be clear that by responding to questions about how I eat I am not implying anyone else should do the same.

I am gluten-free (probably celiac with the autoimmune tie-ins but it's unconfirmed) and sugar-free...nearly 100% grain-free. I lean toward paleo eating but have recently reintroduced legumes in moderation as well-sourced meat is outside my budget these days. I guess you could say I'm either paleo or nearly-vegan depending on my grocery budget.

Holidays are weird for me because I don't have that desire to indulge anymore. It's more about health than taste for me now...and my tastes have changed and I truly enjoy my vegetable-based meals. It creates a weird dynamic when one person is snacking on veggies and hummus while everyone else is having what they call a "cheat" day. I'm already dreading Thanksgiving... And, yes, it's my family that leaves me feeling judged/mocked. My friends all respect my choices even if they find them a little odd.

[GLC1968]

The family thing is weird, isn't it? When I was visiting my parents last month, they both handled it really differently. My father was clearly interested but he's like me and will want to research the crap out of anything before passing judgement. I actually left one of my paleo books with him. He's also a lot like me in his tendency to choose his words carefully to avoid the impression that he's passing judgement, so we had quite a few really good conversations about it.

My mom, on the other hand was quick to jump in and 'defend' her choices as if mine reflected on hers. And boy, did she get accusatory about everything! She was reciting all the things her doctors had told her about how eating high cholesterol food will kill you and that you MUST eat whole grains (except for my father for whom whole grains are off limits for kidney stone reasons)! It was crazy. Then, the weird part, is that she wanted to cook for me, so I said that was fine as long as she used olive oil exclusively (I wasn't going to force her to use something she doesn't already keep on hand). I refrained from grains or legumes but ate whatever else she prepared. Most of our meals were like the meals of my childhood (steak/chicken/fish with veggies and salad). I just skipped the french bread and she didn't make any of the pasta dishes. And yet, she still kept telling me how 'strange' my diet was! Huh?

But I'm used to avoiding opinionated topics of discussion with her anyway, so it wasn't too big of a deal.

I do dread the day I'm going to have to explain all this to my overly opinionated brother. I don't think it will be pleasant at all. I'm going to be counting on my sister-in-law to help defend me since she's much more open-minded about stuff like this.

[shootingstar]

Just yesterday, one work colleague voluntarily told me that for him drinking milk causes eczema.

But chocolate milk doesn't. It must be the placebo effect.

[7rider]

I'm also vegan, Atlas. Funnily enough, my family gives me the hardest time - not coworkers or friends. They call all my food "weird sh**", "weird" being things like quinoa and soymilk.

I have a friend who gives me grief because I'm NOT vegan.

[Catrin]

I have a friend who gives me grief because I'm NOT vegan.

Yep, I've had this happen as well. For some reason many of us appear to view different diet preferences from our own as a form of personal judgement. It makes no sense, and personally, I really like Marni's approach and will have to remember that.

Westtexas, the cupcakes sound quite yummy and I wish you were closer to me The chicken thigh recipe looks yummy and I am going to have to try it!

[westtexas]

Catrin - I definitely recommend it!

I was talking to my mom today about the Thanksgiving menu and suggested we prepare the roasted okra because it is so good. But she's very worried that my grandmother won't like it. And all I could think was, who cares? She can just choose not to eat it, just I will choose not to eat the bread and the pie. It seems like there is such a strong cultural/familial need to please everyone through the food we make and eat. I imagine that is where the hard feelings come from and why we feel attacked when others judge our diets. So glad we are all entitled to our own food choices.

[grey]

Vegan here, but not too strict - if at a friends or - for Turkey Day - I'll have something with egg or cheese in it, but very, very little. No meat, which means everyone looks at my Thanksgiving plate with no turkey or stuffing or ham or baked beans (bacon in them) like I'm from another planet. Or they feel insulted. Or feel they have to comment at how I eat so little. I LOVE food, and LOVE to eat - but I also won't give my body a big meal of things it isn't used to and feel sick for a week.

Sometimes that's the hardest part. Sometimes people don't get it - even after explaining that things you ate six years ago were technically making you sick - explaining that your arthritis is gone, the endometriosis symptoms are gone, you have no 2:00 fatigue and tons of energy. Even so, some people will push. My mother kept trying to force chicken on me even 2 months ago until my brother explained that if I ate chicken NOW, my body would likely reject it.

I feel so much healthier when I am all-vegan, and people LOVE my cooking. I just don't point out that it was vegan until after they have raved about it. I take photos of my food and post them on facebook, friends and family say it looks like I eat at a 5-star restaurant every night - but I don't think they all pick up on the fact that all of it is vegan!

The other night I roasted root veggies, turned them so they browned on two sides (daikon, rutabaga, sweet potato, carrot & butternut squash), served with roasted garlic soup and toasted garlic-sage bread. We gorged ourselves.

I think your coworkers were incredibly rude and nasty. Even if I didn't like something someone had made, I would NEVER say anything! Your dish sounded fabulous, and like a lot of work. Shame on them - but it also shows you what they usually eat is probably not healthy. Even more shameful if they seem to think you can't join them out to dinner anymore.