Our very own humiliation/embarassment thread

[AuntieK]

My most memorable oopsie was when I went out for a ride with Super-Amazing-Cyclist Woman. At the end of the ride, on the way back to our cars, she dropped me bad and ended up waiting for me by my car. As I come cruising into the parking lot, I realized that my cleat must be frozen to the pedal (this was New Year's Eve, and it was cold and started snowing shortly after the ride). Whatever it was, I could NOT unclip! So, I could either run into Super-Amazing-Cyclist Woman, or I could hit my own car. I choose the car. I jerked hard on the handlebar, bonked into my back bumper, and fell over. Finally, mid-fall, the cleat unclipped. She didn't laugh, but I'm sure she was laughing on the inside...I must have looked mighty funny.
Once I got home I realized that the handlebar jerk had broken my computer wire.

[Tater]

I had finally gotten a sleek new road bike with clipless pedals after years of riding mountain bikes with and without rat-traps. I had practiced clipping in and out from the comfort of my own living room before daring to take the show on the road. I even rode across the yard a couple times clipping in and out, just in case I fell, the grass would cushion the blow. Finally, I decide to head out...down the hill to the signal, slowed down, unclipped one side, negotiated the red light just fine. Half mile down the road, a stop sign appears and suddenly, I forget that I am clipped to my pedals! I think the crash happened in slow motion, because I felt myself ever-so-slowly tipping to the left, then down on my rump. I wasn't hurt, more importantly, the bike was unharmed, but as I was untangling myself from the bike, a car pulled up beside me. Down rolls the passenger side window, 'Are you okay?' a woman asks. As my cheeks flame, I nod and say yes. I am sure she drove off thinking I was some sort of clod!

[bcipam]

OK this didn't happen while riding but did happen on a bike ride.

About 10 years ago I did a Backroads ride through coastal Oregon. The ride was tough plus, well, the Backroads food was not suiting my delicate tastes. On the second to last day, they served Oatmeal for breakfast. I hate Oatmeal and to make it worse, there was no sugar or milk. Ugh, "dry" Oatmeal!

This was a camping trip so I got my Oatmeal and was *****ing all the way to the picnic table. 3 people were seated on one side. 2 on the other. I sat between the two. As soon as I sat, the 3 on the other side got up. No one realized the table was on an angle, pointing down on my side. The table started to flip. The two on either end where able to bail, but since I was in the middle, I got stuck. The table flipped over, I landed on my back - legs straight up. The bowl of oatmeal flipped into the air and came straight down on my crotch. I am not making this up! Of course, it was the fuinniest thing anyone had ever seen before. Most got sick from laughing. I just remember having to sit under a faucet trying to clean the crotch of my shorts (my only other pair had been washed the night before and were wet).

To finish out my beautiful day, I got a flat and found out I had the wrong tube (Shrader v presta) and later that day, trying to catch the group, I hit some rail road tracks wrong, flipped over the bike, landed on my head and shoulder and was unconcious a few moments. I got to spend my last day in Oregon in the hospital. Will never forget that trip that's for sure! And t this day, I won't eat Oatmeal!

[Trekhawk]

bcipam - sorry but I am laughing thats so funny.....not the bit about the fall and hospital though thats just scary.

[MomOnBike]

bcipam -

I'll take your oatmeal (comfort food for me) & you can have ALL my bananas.

Note to parents: Do not pour your daughter cornflakes, slice bananas on top,liberally douse it all with milk, and only then call said daughter to breakfast, and insist she sit there until the entire disgusting mess is eaten. You know, the daughter who hates sogginess in any food. You'll put her off bananas and cornflakes for life. Really. {shudder}

[SadieKate]

Mom, I carefully stage everyting so I can put add milk at just the last minute and no delays while eating. Soggy! Yuck!

[Melody]

So things that have happened to me...

When I was young (before my teen years) I was riding and talking to my sister. I was not paying attention to the road. I remember suddenly looking up and seeing a parked car in front of me. Before I could react I hit the car and went flying and landed spread eagle on its hood.

When picking up Silver and getting saddle height, etc. all setup while on the trainer at the LBS, I leaned a little too far on the right and started tipping. Since I was clipped in the bike went with me... since the bike was locked in the trainer, the trainer did too... Merilee from the shop is just looking in horror as I'm just laughing my butt off.

I can't count the number of times I've attempted to dismount and my shorts end up getting caught on the nose of the saddle. Unfortunately my balance sucks so typically I end up in the bushes in my front yard. I did this once as a car was passing by the house. The woman hit her brakes and shouted out to me "are you ok?!" Laughing I responded that I was fine.

Mel

[bcipam]

bcipam -

I'll take your oatmeal (comfort food for me) & you can have ALL my bananas.

Note to parents: Do not pour your daughter cornflakes, slice bananas on top,liberally douse it all with milk, and only then call said daughter to breakfast, and insist she sit there until the entire disgusting mess is eaten. You know, the daughter who hates sogginess in any food. You'll put her off bananas and cornflakes for life. Really. {shudder}

Well that won't work cause I also dislike bananas but strangely and yes I admit this makes no sense, the only way I will eat bananas is cut up and on Cherrios with lots of milk.

Speaking of making kids eat icky things... in my day (a hundred years ago) my Mom used to make us sit at the table and not only eat adult size porportions (no wonder I battle my weight) but also things like liver and lamb both of which to this day I won't come near. I can remember sitting slumped over at the dinner table, it's about 11 o'clock at night, I'm tired and hungry (been crying since 6 so all snotty and sick) and so stubborn I just refused to eat just one bite of liver. My mother also stubborn, is mad at me cause I won't let her go to bed and she's gonna torture me until I eat that liver. As an adult I had to go into therapy because of those liver dinners (and uh well yes, maybe because of my Mom).

Yes parents don't make your kids eat something icky. Sad thing is how would my life have been improved if I ate the liver? Vegatables I can understand but liver.... Yuck!!!!

[Dianyla]

Sad thing is how would my life have been improved if I ate the liver? Vegatables I can understand but liver.... Yuck!!!!

Well, it is extremely rich in iron. But plain liver is a bit much to stomach. I much prefer it in the pate/foie gras format alongside a nice wine.

[CyclaSutra]

... in my day (a hundred years ago) my Mom used to make us sit at the table and ... she's gonna torture me until I eat that liver. As an adult I had to go into therapy because of those liver dinners (and uh well yes, maybe because of my Mom).

Um, my dad would turn on the 12-inch black-and-white television in the kitchen and make us watch PBS specials about starving Ethiopians until we'd eat our vegetables.

"Those starvin' little kids in Africa would LOVE to have your green beans!" Daddy would shout.

"Send them over there!" I'd tearfully and defiantly say.

Yes, parental issues... whole new thread for that one?

[bentforlife]

but on a greenbroke horse as a teenager(eons ago) We're weaving through the rows of pecan trees when she decides she's tired of being ridden. She takes me right at a branch that's about chest level. We were cantering pretty fast, so the only choice I have is to grab the branch and hang on.

I looked pretty funny hanging about 4.5 feet from the ground in this pecan tree. My sisters finally turned their horses around to help me down AFTER they were through laughing!!

She actually turned out to be one of the best riding horses we owned, after she bucked me off bareback, scraped me off on the side of the barn and rabbit hopped me a couple of times also. I miss having a horse at times, but my knees don't Have to really enjoy my bike now. At least I'm in control(most of the time).

Donna

[DrBee]

My most embarrassing moment was in October, when I was chased by that big scary dog. I kept riding away from where the dog was. I rode 10 miles until I ran out of road - it turned into big chunky white gravel. Now, I was thinking to myself - how am I going to get home??? I didn't have the phone with me (duh) and was in the middle of nowhere. I just couldn't go back towards that dog - I knew he and his buddy would be waiting for me. Well - my only choice was to ask for help. I went up to a farmer (a young gentleman) and asked him to throw me and my bike in the back of his truck and drive me past that dog. As my husband put it, "how could a guy turn down a woman in cycling clothes". The farmer didn't laugh too mcuh and even put my bike in the back of his truck and let me ride in the front. He grinned the entire way back. I felt so inept. BUT - the dog was waiting for me, so it was a good move.

[crazycanuck]

A week before moving to Australia Ian(da man...) and I went out to Woodhill (mtn bike park) near Auckland to have a quiet day in the forest-(normally the place is packed on weekends but we went on a wed)

After about 2hrs of riding i was a bit tired and came over some small sandy hill & the next thing i know i was over my handlebars..not before i hit the bit above my privates on the head of my bicycle on the way down...I was alone and was in pain for a bit there. I couldn't walk for 5 min or so...(Had i been a guy.. ) and couldn't bend well for the next few days.

Then today whilst out i went to go around a corner with a bit of pea gravel i was fine going into the corner but didn't notice a blackboy bush on my right side..next thing i knew i heard a whomp & landed on my left side..My biking partner & I had a good giggle & tried to set off but noticed my back wheel's quick release became loose....

c

[Polly]

My mate Debs and I were cycling very slowly around a forest trail in a place called Thetford in England - possibly the flattest, least technical mtb centre you could imagine... when I have to cycle through a mudddy puddle, and I fall in. Typical.

the following explanation I initially wrote to amuse my friends, who are always keen to hear of my latest disaster, perhaps a little too keen! I decided to tell it as it should have been... not sure how the humour might translate... but here goes! (oh I should point out the 'beast' is a section of singletrack with a few bumps in it!)

"…Racing along the fire road Polly looks around; there’s no one to be seen, she’s alone, just her and the sun bleached stumps which broken and abandoned scatter the barren landscape. She turns again, catching a glimpse as she does of her sidekick; Die-hard Debs. She is relieved but not surprised that Debs too has made it past the snarling beast…

Far from relaxing, Polly doesn’t let her concentration waver, her toned body suddenly tenses, her perfectly manicured fingers hover over her brake levers… the landscape has changed. No longer is the sky visible above her head, she has been plunged into darkness – a strange unearthly twilight, silent and menacing. Struggling to decipher the curves of the route ahead, Polly carefully picks her way through the dense undergrowth of the tree strewn singletrack, twisting, turning, all the time anxious not to scrub off too much speed… but it is then that she sees it. Ahead; its outline barely visible in the murky distance… The puddle of Gloom!

All too soon the puddle is upon her, a vast expanse of sticky gloop… its depth unfathomable, its effects potentially devastating. As she approaches this brown oozing mass, she can see the surface begin to tremble… Polly can only wonder what lies beneath. Which line should she take? Left? Right? Left…the decision irrelevant, Polly’s fate is sealed.

As our heroine races past the edge of the danger, a long slimy tentacle springs out and winds itself around her rear hub. One sharp tug and the back wheel of Polly’s bike is dragged into the mire, the Chris King hubs screaming with anger. Polly bravely tries to throw herself from her steed, to avoid a muddy fate worse than death. As she crashes to the ground she is aware of her bike spinning round above her, pivoting on her foot. Only her incredible strength saves her and her bike from being sucked under the surface of this terrible quicksand…

As Polly lies at the edge of the menace, clinging stoically to her bike with only one cleat, Die-hard Debs appears… her razor sharp senses immediately assessing the situation. She walks carefully around the Puddle of Gloom, her eyes transfixed. Eventually she speaks …

“Blinkin' 'eck Poll…. What on earth have you done this time? And… how the blazes have you managed to be still clipped into your bike but it facing the other way round?…”


It was very embarrassing, I was covered in mud and unable to move until Debs rescued me, in fact I lay there going "no, no, I'm fine really" as several small children and pensioners cleared the puddle, and offered to help... doh!

[ace]

I got my first pair of padded bike shorts in June. For about the first two weeks I wore them, everytime I got out of the saddle they'd get caught and I'd almost moon many carloads of people. Got me into the habit of wearing underpants under my shorts ;-)