Food choice defensive

[Dannielle]

I can absolutely relate. The way I eat is considered odd, even extreme, by most people I interact with. It's awkward at times. I don't mind answering questions (the way I eat has completely changed my life...I used to be 200lbs overweight and was dealt with a host of autoimmune issues which are now gone) but it gets weird when someone brings it up then gets defensive when I answer their questions. I have to always choose my words very carefully to be clear that by responding to questions about how I eat I am not implying anyone else should do the same.

I am gluten-free (probably celiac with the autoimmune tie-ins but it's unconfirmed) and sugar-free...nearly 100% grain-free. I lean toward paleo eating but have recently reintroduced legumes in moderation as well-sourced meat is outside my budget these days. I guess you could say I'm either paleo or nearly-vegan depending on my grocery budget.

Holidays are weird for me because I don't have that desire to indulge anymore. It's more about health than taste for me now...and my tastes have changed and I truly enjoy my vegetable-based meals. It creates a weird dynamic when one person is snacking on veggies and hummus while everyone else is having what they call a "cheat" day. I'm already dreading Thanksgiving... And, yes, it's my family that leaves me feeling judged/mocked. My friends all respect my choices even if they find them a little odd.

[GLC1968]

The family thing is weird, isn't it? When I was visiting my parents last month, they both handled it really differently. My father was clearly interested but he's like me and will want to research the crap out of anything before passing judgement. I actually left one of my paleo books with him. He's also a lot like me in his tendency to choose his words carefully to avoid the impression that he's passing judgement, so we had quite a few really good conversations about it.

My mom, on the other hand was quick to jump in and 'defend' her choices as if mine reflected on hers. And boy, did she get accusatory about everything! She was reciting all the things her doctors had told her about how eating high cholesterol food will kill you and that you MUST eat whole grains (except for my father for whom whole grains are off limits for kidney stone reasons)! It was crazy. Then, the weird part, is that she wanted to cook for me, so I said that was fine as long as she used olive oil exclusively (I wasn't going to force her to use something she doesn't already keep on hand). I refrained from grains or legumes but ate whatever else she prepared. Most of our meals were like the meals of my childhood (steak/chicken/fish with veggies and salad). I just skipped the french bread and she didn't make any of the pasta dishes. And yet, she still kept telling me how 'strange' my diet was! Huh?

But I'm used to avoiding opinionated topics of discussion with her anyway, so it wasn't too big of a deal.

I do dread the day I'm going to have to explain all this to my overly opinionated brother. I don't think it will be pleasant at all. I'm going to be counting on my sister-in-law to help defend me since she's much more open-minded about stuff like this.