Our very own humiliation/embarassment thread

[Grog]

I did Tour de Poway this year with friends... on my race bike in my full gear... there was some dude on a rusty old mtn bike in flip flops and board shorts... that dropped us like a rock and didn't even appear to be sweating...

There's a cyclist who's pretty well known in Quebec, I can't remember his name but he was Lynn Bessette's (one of our female pro-racer and olympian in both road and mountain) coach at some point, probably an ex-elite racer himself. He was always biking around on an old clunker, dressed exactly as you describe, plus usually a buttonned-down shirt, with his small dog in a basket attached to his handlebars. He would do the whole Grand Tour (a 7-8 day supported ride with a couple days of major hills usually) this way, too.

Rumor has it that on the first day of training he would meet Bessette at the Gilles-Villeneuve Course (where they have the Grand Prix in Montreal, a favorite spot for cyclists because of the smooth 5,5 km loop of top-notch pavement with one lane closed to cars). He would make her do her first workouts on some old rusty bike. Not sure how she was dressed, but in any case she certainly passed every Colnago and Cervélo around that morning, "humbling" a couple of guys. Of course they didn't know who she was.

So the take-home message is: I think more than a few elite racers have an old clunker they like to use to have fun on the bike and enjoy their sport instead of focusing on speed and performance. So next time you're passed by one of these, you can always think that to yourself, and not be embarassed.

[Dianyla]

bikerchick68's trolley tracks experiment reminded me of another incident. Here in Portland we have these highly illustrative signs for bicyclists near most train tracks:


Every time I see one of these I wince at the memory. I think they used me as the model for this drawing, and I've still got a lovely road tattoo on my elbow from this. Though, I think I was in too much pain to feel embarrassed.

[AuntieK]

My most memorable oopsie was when I went out for a ride with Super-Amazing-Cyclist Woman. At the end of the ride, on the way back to our cars, she dropped me bad and ended up waiting for me by my car. As I come cruising into the parking lot, I realized that my cleat must be frozen to the pedal (this was New Year's Eve, and it was cold and started snowing shortly after the ride). Whatever it was, I could NOT unclip! So, I could either run into Super-Amazing-Cyclist Woman, or I could hit my own car. I choose the car. I jerked hard on the handlebar, bonked into my back bumper, and fell over. Finally, mid-fall, the cleat unclipped. She didn't laugh, but I'm sure she was laughing on the inside...I must have looked mighty funny.
Once I got home I realized that the handlebar jerk had broken my computer wire.

[Tater]

I had finally gotten a sleek new road bike with clipless pedals after years of riding mountain bikes with and without rat-traps. I had practiced clipping in and out from the comfort of my own living room before daring to take the show on the road. I even rode across the yard a couple times clipping in and out, just in case I fell, the grass would cushion the blow. Finally, I decide to head out...down the hill to the signal, slowed down, unclipped one side, negotiated the red light just fine. Half mile down the road, a stop sign appears and suddenly, I forget that I am clipped to my pedals! I think the crash happened in slow motion, because I felt myself ever-so-slowly tipping to the left, then down on my rump. I wasn't hurt, more importantly, the bike was unharmed, but as I was untangling myself from the bike, a car pulled up beside me. Down rolls the passenger side window, 'Are you okay?' a woman asks. As my cheeks flame, I nod and say yes. I am sure she drove off thinking I was some sort of clod!

[bcipam]

OK this didn't happen while riding but did happen on a bike ride.

About 10 years ago I did a Backroads ride through coastal Oregon. The ride was tough plus, well, the Backroads food was not suiting my delicate tastes. On the second to last day, they served Oatmeal for breakfast. I hate Oatmeal and to make it worse, there was no sugar or milk. Ugh, "dry" Oatmeal!

This was a camping trip so I got my Oatmeal and was *****ing all the way to the picnic table. 3 people were seated on one side. 2 on the other. I sat between the two. As soon as I sat, the 3 on the other side got up. No one realized the table was on an angle, pointing down on my side. The table started to flip. The two on either end where able to bail, but since I was in the middle, I got stuck. The table flipped over, I landed on my back - legs straight up. The bowl of oatmeal flipped into the air and came straight down on my crotch. I am not making this up! Of course, it was the fuinniest thing anyone had ever seen before. Most got sick from laughing. I just remember having to sit under a faucet trying to clean the crotch of my shorts (my only other pair had been washed the night before and were wet).

To finish out my beautiful day, I got a flat and found out I had the wrong tube (Shrader v presta) and later that day, trying to catch the group, I hit some rail road tracks wrong, flipped over the bike, landed on my head and shoulder and was unconcious a few moments. I got to spend my last day in Oregon in the hospital. Will never forget that trip that's for sure! And t this day, I won't eat Oatmeal!

[Trekhawk]

bcipam - sorry but I am laughing thats so funny.....not the bit about the fall and hospital though thats just scary.

[MomOnBike]

bcipam -

I'll take your oatmeal (comfort food for me) & you can have ALL my bananas.

Note to parents: Do not pour your daughter cornflakes, slice bananas on top,liberally douse it all with milk, and only then call said daughter to breakfast, and insist she sit there until the entire disgusting mess is eaten. You know, the daughter who hates sogginess in any food. You'll put her off bananas and cornflakes for life. Really. {shudder}

[SadieKate]

Mom, I carefully stage everyting so I can put add milk at just the last minute and no delays while eating. Soggy! Yuck!

[bcipam]

bcipam -

I'll take your oatmeal (comfort food for me) & you can have ALL my bananas.

Note to parents: Do not pour your daughter cornflakes, slice bananas on top,liberally douse it all with milk, and only then call said daughter to breakfast, and insist she sit there until the entire disgusting mess is eaten. You know, the daughter who hates sogginess in any food. You'll put her off bananas and cornflakes for life. Really. {shudder}

Well that won't work cause I also dislike bananas but strangely and yes I admit this makes no sense, the only way I will eat bananas is cut up and on Cherrios with lots of milk.

Speaking of making kids eat icky things... in my day (a hundred years ago) my Mom used to make us sit at the table and not only eat adult size porportions (no wonder I battle my weight) but also things like liver and lamb both of which to this day I won't come near. I can remember sitting slumped over at the dinner table, it's about 11 o'clock at night, I'm tired and hungry (been crying since 6 so all snotty and sick) and so stubborn I just refused to eat just one bite of liver. My mother also stubborn, is mad at me cause I won't let her go to bed and she's gonna torture me until I eat that liver. As an adult I had to go into therapy because of those liver dinners (and uh well yes, maybe because of my Mom).

Yes parents don't make your kids eat something icky. Sad thing is how would my life have been improved if I ate the liver? Vegatables I can understand but liver.... Yuck!!!!

[bentforlife]

but on a greenbroke horse as a teenager(eons ago) We're weaving through the rows of pecan trees when she decides she's tired of being ridden. She takes me right at a branch that's about chest level. We were cantering pretty fast, so the only choice I have is to grab the branch and hang on.

I looked pretty funny hanging about 4.5 feet from the ground in this pecan tree. My sisters finally turned their horses around to help me down AFTER they were through laughing!!

She actually turned out to be one of the best riding horses we owned, after she bucked me off bareback, scraped me off on the side of the barn and rabbit hopped me a couple of times also. I miss having a horse at times, but my knees don't Have to really enjoy my bike now. At least I'm in control(most of the time).

Donna

[DrBee]

My most embarrassing moment was in October, when I was chased by that big scary dog. I kept riding away from where the dog was. I rode 10 miles until I ran out of road - it turned into big chunky white gravel. Now, I was thinking to myself - how am I going to get home??? I didn't have the phone with me (duh) and was in the middle of nowhere. I just couldn't go back towards that dog - I knew he and his buddy would be waiting for me. Well - my only choice was to ask for help. I went up to a farmer (a young gentleman) and asked him to throw me and my bike in the back of his truck and drive me past that dog. As my husband put it, "how could a guy turn down a woman in cycling clothes". The farmer didn't laugh too mcuh and even put my bike in the back of his truck and let me ride in the front. He grinned the entire way back. I felt so inept. BUT - the dog was waiting for me, so it was a good move.

[crazycanuck]

A week before moving to Australia Ian(da man...) and I went out to Woodhill (mtn bike park) near Auckland to have a quiet day in the forest-(normally the place is packed on weekends but we went on a wed)

After about 2hrs of riding i was a bit tired and came over some small sandy hill & the next thing i know i was over my handlebars..not before i hit the bit above my privates on the head of my bicycle on the way down...I was alone and was in pain for a bit there. I couldn't walk for 5 min or so...(Had i been a guy.. ) and couldn't bend well for the next few days.

Then today whilst out i went to go around a corner with a bit of pea gravel i was fine going into the corner but didn't notice a blackboy bush on my right side..next thing i knew i heard a whomp & landed on my left side..My biking partner & I had a good giggle & tried to set off but noticed my back wheel's quick release became loose....

c

[ace]

I got my first pair of padded bike shorts in June. For about the first two weeks I wore them, everytime I got out of the saddle they'd get caught and I'd almost moon many carloads of people. Got me into the habit of wearing underpants under my shorts ;-)

[telegirl]

In reverse chronological order:

1. Went on a road ride and the only jersey I had was one I wore maybe once. I also had forgotten my sport bra, so had to wear my regular bra. (and by regular, I mean frilly, fancy, and did I mention....see-through?) Can we see where this is going, folks? So as I finish my 45 mile ride and am going back to my car, one of my friends waves me down to say 'hi'. I stop and she says 'gosh, telegirl, you might want to zip up.' I look down and realize that the zipper on this jersey ain't so hot and had unzipped all the way down, leaving me basically riding topless. And I wondered why two different cars of guys stopped to let me ride across the road in front of them.

2. Road riding and had to pee, so hubby tells me to go over this burm and by the railroad tracks cuz no one will see me. So, I am peeing and I hear this truck coming down the road. Oh, wait, no, it is a truck coming down the RAILROAD TRACKS. He politely waved. It is hard to maintain any sense of dignity in that situation.

3. Too many slow motion tip-overs at various times because of inattention.

Ok, there is not enough room on this board to cover all of these, so I will leave some stories for later.....I think almost everything has happened to me- except the oatmeal on the crotch story. I think that one is a first.

[SouthernBelle]

I had a decent one yesterday. I am learning to ride clipless. I head out for a morning ride yesterday forgetting to account for morning school traffic. I ended up in a spot where 3 school zones meet, so I decided to practice scooching along with the stop and go traffic. I unclipped on the left side and was doing OK. But when I lost momentum and a car was in front of me, I went over to my right. Everything went flying everywhere. I got a booboo on my knee. I felt dumb.