Get some rest, Brandi.
My professional and personal opinion is that it's only going to make you more upset to go. Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you owe him/her anything. Not a popular opinion, but some people do horrible things to others, and it's OK not to have a relationship with this kind of person. If you think it's going to make you feel better, go, but you've made several attempts at reconciliation and they have been rebuffed. And Knot is right. People die and you don't need to feel guilty about this.