Strange situation need advice please.

[ursalilah]

I can definitely empathize with you about lacking the energy to deal with the situation. I'm feeling the same way about my father, with whom I have a good relationship. I can't imagine who hard it would be if I were feeling the way about him that you're feeling toward your father.

I also think that you shouldn't go and that you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You've said that your father didn't want to have a relationship with you and basically hardly acknowledged your existence, which means he made his choice long ago.

[Brandi]

I can definitely empathize with you about lacking the energy to deal with the situation. I'm feeling the same way about my father, with whom I have a good relationship. I can't imagine who hard it would be if I were feeling the way about him that you're feeling toward your father.

I also think that you shouldn't go and that you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You've said that your father didn't want to have a relationship with you and basically hardly acknowledged your existence, which means he made his choice long ago.

Exactly! EXACTLY! ty

[malkin]

Like your signature says: Appreciate the people in your life.
He isn't really one of them. Take care of yourself.

Be with people you love and who love you.

[Blueberry]

((((((Brandi))))))

Knot is wise. Listen to *your* heart.

[lph]

I'll be the dissident and say go visit him. Not because you have to, certainly not because you should feel guilty!, not to get involved. Just because it really is your absolutely last chance to see him and you never know what might come out of it. Not miracles, just a little bit of ease connected to your relationship that may make you feel happier in the years to come. This is assuming that HE actually wants to see you. It sounds like he does regret losing contact, has given up, but his more emotionally savvy ex can see it.

The way I read your post you're mad at him, not indifferent. With good reason! This seems to me your only chance to do something about it - for your own sake, not his.

Good luck with your decision! This situation will take energy no matter what you do, I think.

[ny biker]

I think first you need to get some rest for a couple of days.

Then do what your gut tells you to do. If you want to go, that's fine, though I would keep my expectations low. If you don't want to go, then don't, because you don't owe them anything.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Brandi)))))))

No advice, just hugs.

[salsabike]

I think first you need to get some rest for a couple of days.

Then do what your gut tells you to do.

I think this is right on. Other people's opinions and experiences are worth reading and make you think about your own, but they AREN'T the equivalent of your own. You need to get enough quiet around you to listen, really listen, to your heart. That's what will give you the advice that works for you.