Dear So and So

[Owlie]

Meep!

Dear program:
I realize that you have to check boxes, but this is completely pointless. And I really hope you meant double-spaced. I'm having difficulties getting this to a page...

[Bethany1]

Dear Doc Office and Insurance Companies,

I hate bills and I hate you both. Get it together and quit gouging people. We all know it doesn't really cost that much for a simple procedure or a doc visit that only took 5 minutes.


Sincerely,

Broke after paying this bill

[Biciclista]

i remember once my son had a swelling under his nail after a blunt force trauma. the doctor bent a paperclip, heated it and punctured his nail to release the pressure. He charged 200 dollars for that in 1990.

[marni]

A wise old Indians reaction to the explanation of daylight saving time.

"Only a white man would believe that you can cut a strip off of the top of a blanket, sew it onto the bottom of the blanket and end up with a bigger blanket."

[alexis_the_tiny]

Dear Self,

See what I meant when I said to stop Google stalking people? Now you've gone and found out that your ex-nemesis has the very life you wished so hard you had for years. How does that make you feel? Like crap? You deserve it. And do we even need to point out that this is the girl that your rat b*****d ex used to constantly make you feel inferior? So she's now a tech writer for an international website and she's still doing better than you are. Universe only knows why you feel the need to torture yourself this way.

You have a wonderful guy in your life now. You have the job you've wanted to do since you were 9 years old and 6 kids who are thrilled to see you every morning so you can go exploring to learn stuff. The communications industry is not your place. You were miserable, underweight, anorexic, smoking 2 packs a week and never had time to ride your bike or see your friends while in it. Don't even consider the idea of going back to it just to compete with her because that is just stupid. Jeez. Like you can afford another 5 years of therapy while paying for your second bachelor's degree. Quit Google stalking already. Sheesh.

Very Annoyed,
Your saner self.

[Biciclista]

Dear Enza
I love you on my lap but I need to get up and finish the stuff I need to do before I leave here this morning.
xx
warm lap.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear DH, please succumb already to my repeated clever hints and pleas for us to adopt a third kitty from the shelter. YES there is room on the bed and on our desks here at home for just one more!

[limewave]

Dear Mom and Dad,

Yes, we are all very proud of my brother. And I wouldn't mind reading through all the newspaper articles and even watching a news clip or two, but I don't really care to have them shoved in my face. I just got back from racing in the country's largest xc race . . . and I didn't do too shabby. It would have been nice if you feigned interest. Ask me how the race went, the weekend, etc. before bombarding us with all the spectacular! details of my brother's life.

I spent most of my childhood years being dragged to my brother's events. I'm not angry at you, it was alright. Sometimes it does make me sad. I can't help but wonder what I would have done had I been given the opportunities that he had. But I'm happy now. I had to move to a new town, but it worked. I managed to become someone other than "the little sister . . . he has a sister?" Did you even notice???

Dear SIL--Yay for you! You're married to my brother! It's like being Prom Queen for the rest of the life. You have achieved status! Woooooo!

Dear Self--wow, you're more bitter than I thought. Let it go. Let it go . . . this too shall pass. You're not 14 anymore. You've achieved many awesome things on your own and made a wonderful life for yourself Take deep breaths, count to 10.

Dear DH's friends--stop calling me "the little sister" or I will beat your @ss. Oh wait, I already did. I smoked you at Iceman! Hah! Hahahahahahahaha!

[indysteel]

((((Limewave)))). Out of curiosity, have you ever expressed any of that to your parents? Do you think you could? Sometimes I have to remind myself with my own parents that I do have a voice now and can express my needs in ways that I couldn't as a child. I'm often surprised at how well they respond to it. Of course, I try to be civil about it and use a lot of "I" statements.