I do like shea butter and I just found a chamois cream called Mad Alchemy that has shea in it, but some other things as well like tea tree oil. It goes on a little easier than shea butter but it stays put. I really love it. It's a very small company so most bike shops don't carry it, but you can mail order it from their site. I didn't get the women's specific because I got it at a bike shop, but they have women's specific on their site and I might order that.
http://madalchemy.com/