To be or not to be - gray

[lph]

Way to go Selkie! I've been thinking about reposting to this thread myself recently. My hair is finally getting long enough for me to feel it looks pretty nice again.

It's been a learning experience. I really do want to have my natural hair colour, grey or not. It feels great to not have to tend to an illusion of what I look like. But I was surprised at how upset I was at cutting my hair short! I'm used to going out in public looking pretty darn frumpy, and I really didn't think I cared that much. But the short cut with the bizarre curls growing straight up or making Supermanlike cowlicks in my forehead made me feel downright ugly for a while, or like I was wearing somebody else's wig.

Like you I've been happy at finding out that the colour grey can be pretty, too I probably do look older. I am older, so why not. I get why people colour their hair. It does look good. But right now I'm finding out grey looks pretty good too, and has it's own advantages.

[Crankin]

Still haven't changed my mind.
I had my hair cut today; a couple of years go I stopped getting highlights because my hair is so short, they were gone in 2 weeks. I get an all over blonde color, 3-4 times a year. It looks fabulous as it grows out, in fact, it looks like I had expensive highlights done.
So, there are lots of little wisps of gray on one side of my head. They look kind of blonde, but I know they are grey. It's not an issue now, as I will be getting a color next month and they are not noticeable. But, I can just see me with a head of gray. I will look old. I'm still not used to having brown hair, let alone gray. I guess I am the only one who doesn't want to be gray.

[surgtech1956]

I'm all natural too. Gray streaks in my brown hair. I wear my hair short. I thought about coloring a few times, but that was it. I would much rather see someone with gray hair, then some of these 'terribley' bad color jobs.

[azfiddle]

Crankin I think I posted on this thread before, but I can't make the switch to gray. Still teaching middle school and I really don't want to look "old"- and still performing regularly, I'm not really comfortable being on stage and being gray yet.

Also, my hair has been gotten frighteningly thin the last few years- it just makes it all worse. I'm trying Rogaine but am afraid it's not going to work at all...

[shootingstar]

That's great Selkie that your greying hair is a flattering shade for you.

One has to look closely but I do have the odd strand of grey or white here and there. I'm not doing anything about since I have never coloured my hair at all.... that's how virginal my hair is except for perm for 3 yrs. in my early 20's.

I keep on forgetting to look at my hair often enough in the mirror but it has been deliberately cut short for hassle-free hair.


Seriously I attribute keeping my natural hair colour longer due to cycling to help me de-stress because it has been a serious challenge last 12 months of major life changes.

[emily_in_nc]

I know I posted on this thread again but thought I'd chime in since it has now been 1.5 years since I made the decision to stop coloring. I had been coloring since age 25, and when I hit 49, I finally decided "enough" I am sure I'd look younger if I colored, and I've had a couple of younger gals tell me I would be "a cougar" if I colored my hair blonde. But I am married don't care to be a cougar! At 50, I am finally comfortable in my own skin, and hair! You can see what my hair looks like in this recent blog post:

http://bebelize.weebly.com/1/post/20...-cook-off.html

Anyway, I completely understand and respect the decision to color; after all, I did it for nearly half my life. But it's quite liberating to say "enough".

[Selkie]

Emily, you look gorgeous! You also look very, very happy.

LPH--there is no way I could have cut my hair short, as I don't have the face for super short hair. It probably didn't look as bad as you thought.

Once my hair is all my natural color, I'm thinking about letting it grow out a bit.

If coloring your grey makes you feel good, do it! I have to admit that I got to resent all the time I spent in the salon (the money, eh, not a big deal, but admittedly, with a pay freeze this year or at least next (probably longer), it's nice to save all that cash).

There is a lot of ageism in the workplace, so it makes sense for some folks to color their hair for "professional" reasons.

[lph]

Emily, you look stunning. And you look younger than your hair, if that makes sense. Your face is so young that your hair doesn't age you, you just look very cool.

Yes, there is ageism in the workplace, but I've also found out it goes both ways. By some older guys I used to get treated like "just a girl" (cute and funny, but inexperienced and not particularly important) before. This may be just my perception of myself, but I've found it easier to be taken seriously with "older" hair. I think it doesn't only signify actual age and experience, but also I'm signifying that I'm less interested in looking attractive in a young way.

[malkin]

... short cut with the bizarre curls growing straight up or making Supermanlike cowlicks in my forehead ...

This describes my hair!

[new2ride]

I was a toe head as a baby. Totally blond into my 20s, then it seems to get a little darker. I've had a little grey hair since my teens but no one knew expect me. It blended with the blond and looked like highlights. My hair was always long until I reached my late 20s. I decided to cut it very short (think Bidgitte Nielson), my hair was shorter.

Now I'm 50+ and hair is still short but I would estimate 75% of my hair is white, no more grey. It doesn't bother me in the least. Most women and some men assume it's colored and inquire where I have my hair done. I was on a cruise a couple weeks ago and was snorkeling in Jamaica. A lady on the catamaran had finished snorkeling and was rubbing something all over her hair (she was much older than me & her hair was dyed that yellowy blond color). She tossed the tube at me and said feel free to use it because it would help to preserve my color. I just started laughing and said thanks but I didn't need it. She asked me if I colored my hair and I told her I didn't. She couldn't believe it and my DH confimed it.

I feel good the way I am, but I truly understand why women and men dye their hair. My hair grows very quickly, I get it cut every 3 1/2 to 4 weeks. If I dyed it, I would have to color it every time I had it cut. Too expensive of a habit for me

[GLC1968]

Funny that this post should come up again now. I just had my first ever curl-specific hair cut yesterday (Ouidad). It was freakishly expensive, but I think I may have found my answer. We'll know when I style it myself because of course, I looked fabulous walking out of the salon (I say 'of course' but really, it's not of course at all. I've NEVER looked fabulous coming out of a salon when my hair was styled curly - only straight. This is the first time ever I've liked it curly when someone else styled it).

Anyway, my point is that if I have now truly found a cut/stylist and style that I like curly and natural...then I might be ready to consider going grey again. I'm also getting thinner and feeling MUCH better about myself than the last time, so I might give it a shot and totally rock the grey this time around. I know my grey color is beautiful, it would be nice to have it back AND feel good about myself at the same time.

Decisions, decisions...

[limewave]

Funny that this post should come up again now. I just had my first ever curl-specific hair cut yesterday (Ouidad). It was freakishly expensive, but I think I may have found my answer. We'll know when I style it myself because of course, I looked fabulous walking out of the salon (I say 'of course' but really, it's not of course at all. I've NEVER looked fabulous coming out of a salon when my hair was styled curly - only straight. This is the first time ever I've liked it curly when someone else styled it).

Anyway, my point is that if I have now truly found a cut/stylist and style that I like curly and natural...then I might be ready to consider going grey again. I'm also getting thinner and feeling MUCH better about myself than the last time, so I might give it a shot and totally rock the grey this time around. I know my grey color is beautiful, it would be nice to have it back AND feel good about myself at the same time.

Decisions, decisions...

It is SO Hard to find a good Curly hair stylist! Do you go to naturallycurly.com ever? I have an acquaintance that introduced me to that site and I have learned so much. My hair looks a thousand times better. I've started going to her hair stylist who she actually trained to give her curly haircuts. My hair is what I consider my one vanity. I don't buy shoes, handbags, makeup, etc . . . but I will spend money on my hair

[Dogmama]

Well, I'm still coloring and deciding. I know I need to decide pretty quick if I don't want to have that gawd-awful grey skunk-root-thing ... know what I mean? The grey is coming in as silver & very shiny, so it's nice but also extremely noticeable against dark brown hair. My grandmother was silver & my mother never admitted to coloring her hair (!).
_______________________

It really points to a life change, as some ladies have said. At some point, we have to embrace our age & make it OK to have grey hair & lines on our faces. Unfortunately, women don't "get" to age like George Clooney in our society. Can you imagine him with dark hair & a face lift?

[GLC1968]

Limewave - I have been to naturallycurly.com. Fun site! I originally bought the book 'Curly Girl' and that got me started on treating my curls right and since then, I've slowly expanded my knowledge. This stylist was the first one I've been to since high school who treated my curls with the gentle hand they need....and it shows! I go back and forth on how much I'll spend on my hair these days but the bottom line is that I want something attractive and EASY (read: quick), and I'm willing to pay to get it.

Dogmama - I have that grey root skunk thing every 3 weeks. I hate that my hair grows so fast, sometimes. I've been using a lighter and lighter brown dye each time, so it's not as obvious as when I was using my natural dark brown, but it's still definitely there. Luckily, my new curly style has some height to it, so it covers it up a little as I decide what's next!