Dear squeaky bike:
Ok then, we're not going for a ride today. I feel like a total klutz today - I'll probably break something fixing you. I'm going back to bed with a book.

Dear microclimates:
The forecast was for hot 80's, sunny, an offshore wind, and an extreme forest fire danger. Here in the forest it is cold 60's, 99.9% humidity, and I probably wouldn't be able to set the forest on fire with even a flame thrower. Bah!