(Imagine some bouncy music) Ya hoo hoodly hoo! Ya hoodly hoodly hoo! Ya hoodly hoodly hoodly, hoo, ya hoodly hoodly hoo! (dachshund dance of joy. I just made it up.) YAY!

You will be great. You will save lives. Some lives through helmet wearing, others through a life of athleticism that will keep them from diabetes, heart disease, and depression. You will have a blast!!! Wa hoo! Your son will be proud of you, and some day he will grow up and pick a partner he's proud of, too! I see it all!

(OK, I just did a bunch of stretches and pushups, and I feel calmer now)

I am so happy to hear of your adoption. I just knew they'd find a way to bring you in!

How are you feeling after a bit of rest?