Happy National Coming Out Day!

[Irulan]

National Coming Out Day.
What a great idea. Slowly but surely.

Caveat. I am straight with two gay parents. LOL, product of a closeted gay man and a woman who decided she was a political lesbian (her terminology) sometime when I was a teen.

I find the military comments very interesting as my Dad said that one of the reasons he joined the army, for WWII mind you, was to meet men.

My dad, born 1917, was gay, but even in the free form 70s and 80s he was too ingrained in not being straight up about who he was (no pun intended) that he couldn't truly come out, even when every one knew anyway. He lost his job at the State Dept during the McCarthy Era, when gay bars were staked out and the comings and goings of visitors noted. He cheated on my mom all the time, but "there are no other women" was his MO. So my mom got pissed and started dating women.

Now both my parents had a lot of issues and problems beyond this, and my childhood/teen years were pretty horrible and chaotic, but I am convinced that my father would have been much less tortured if he'd been born in a different time.

The gift for me in all of this, is what I believe to be a true level of blindness to labeling of sexuality. In my value system, what kind of relationship you have: loving, caring, committed is way more important than the gender of whom that relationship is with. It's nice to see my kids carrying that on, too.

[TREKSTRONG]

National Coming Out Day.
What a great idea. Slowly but surely.

Caveat. I am straight with two gay parents. LOL, product of a closeted gay man and a woman who decided she was a political lesbian (her terminology) sometime when I was a teen.

I find the military comments very interesting as my Dad said that one of the reasons he joined the army, for WWII mind you, was to meet men.

My dad, born 1917, was gay, but even in the free form 70s and 80s he was too ingrained in not being straight up about who he was (no pun intended) that he couldn't truly come out, even when every one knew anyway. He lost his job at the State Dept during the McCarthy Era, when gay bars were staked out and the comings and goings of visitors noted. He cheated on my mom all the time, but "there are no other women" was his MO. So my mom got pissed and started dating women.

Now both my parents had a lot of issues and problems beyond this, and my childhood/teen years were pretty horrible and chaotic, but I am convinced that my father would have been much less tortured if he'd been born in a different time.

The gift for me in all of this, is what I believe to be a true level of blindness to labeling of sexuality. In my value system, what kind of relationship you have: loving, caring, committed is way more important than the gender of whom that relationship is with. It's nice to see my kids carrying that on, too.

Beautifully said! Thanks for sharing ...

[Brandi]

Ok I am 2 days late! Happy coming out day to all my brother's and sister's! I wish they would all stand up and be who they are. May they have the strength to do it! I think we would all be surprised how many are out there! And how much happier they would be if they didn't feel they had to hide anymore! And I would really like my brother to grow a pair and stop being a homophobe (spelling). My sister's best friend is gay (a guy) and our brother has said some stuff about it that make me not want to be his sister anymore. grumble grumble!

[Pax]

Brandi - I hear ya about brothers. My honey and I had our Civil Union ceremony in June and no one from my family would come or even acknowledge it.

[Trek420]

Brandi - I hear ya about brothers. My honey and I had our Civil Union ceremony in June and no one from my family would come or even acknowledge it.

That's sad. You two rock, congratulations. Not to politicize the thread but marriage matters. Over the years my Mom and Dad when he was alive would introduce my ex (when she was not my ex of course) and "Treks friend".

The day after we married we went to Santa Rosa, picked my Mom up at the symphony which she'd gone to with friends and took her to dinner. She introduced me to us to her friends as "Trek and her wife".

Well, better go back in the closet till next year and besides, I gotta fly on SWA today.

[OakLeaf]

I gotta fly on SWA today.

Don't forget your sumo suit and hijab.

[Trek420]

Oh dang, forgot the sumo suit.

[KnottedYet]

My sister's best friend is gay (a guy) and our brother has said some stuff about it that make me not want to be his sister anymore. grumble grumble!

Several studies have shown that the most vocally homophobic are often closeted homosexuals or have strong homosexual feelings they are trying to hide. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014

And certainly public experience supports that (George Rekers, Larry Craig, Eddie Long, Ted Haggard, etc etc, all vocal public homophobes who were caught in homosexual relationships)

Your brother may stop saying such nasty things if you point out that fact.

[Biciclista]

Several studies have shown that the most vocally homophobic are often closeted homosexuals or have strong homosexual feelings they are trying to hide. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014

And certainly public experience supports that (George Rekers, Larry Craig, Eddie Long, Ted Haggard, etc etc, all vocal public homophobes who were caught in homosexual relationships)

Your brother may stop saying such nasty things if you point out that fact.

snork!! DO IT