I get what the OP is saying. I used to think that professional bike racers looked completely bizarre. Lean and athletic and hot as can be, but dressed in the most eye-jarring, garish, weird gear, and then these cute little matching gloves and shoe covers... And this is coming from someone who has worked as a jockey.

I still think racers look a little strange, but I no longer think they look like aliens. The look grows on you.
As for flattering - I agree there are clothes out there that are more flattering, to almost every body type. But like most of you, on the bike I just don't care, neither for my sake or for others. The bike itself is so flattering