Quote Originally Posted by lph View Post
Yuck. That's like saying "I'm sorry if you feel hurt", and expecting it to sound like a real apology.
There is a world of difference between "I'm sorry if you feel hurt" and "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings". The first one takes no responsibility for the event and creates a distance between cause and effect- makes it clear the hurt feelings have nothing to do with them but rather are your own baggage.

I recently received an even better response from a 'friend' recently after I felt I just had to let her know that her repeated actions on two occasions really hurt my feelings. I figured she'd want to figure out together with me how to fix things. Instead, and I quote her email directly:
"Im sorry if this hurts you. That was not my intent."

Classic therapy-speak!
Like I should be happy with that? and like it's perfectly fine to continue doing things that hurt someone's feelings as long as you don't set out to do it intentionally? She went on to matter-of-factly list her reasons for what she did, with no further references to my feelings at all. Hmm.

Needless to say, her priorities became clear to me, I get the message, and she's now an acquaintance rather than a friend.