Coping with major life change: brings out more of the best of you

[tzvia]

I had been caring for my Father who is now in stage 6 Dementia. He has been living with me since 2005, and my mother, brother and I have been doing 'tag team' care. It's been rough, but finally we came to the conclusion that he needed to go to a home. Three weeks ago, we finally found a good place 3 miles away and we put him there. Yes now the house is quite. I don't have to lock up the food and pull the knobs off the stove and oven any more. The bathroom is clean every morning.

Change? Yea, but more just emotionally drained. I see him every weekend, and will be stopping off on the way home from work-it's like a mile from there. Emotionally spent after all these years of constant care. I never noticed the stress until he was gone and I just collapsed physically. Going to go see him now.

[shootingstar]

Wow tz, you're a trooper.

I had a friend who looked after her mom with advanced dementia for 5 yrs. before she died. They lived out in a small town of 2,000.

[shootingstar]

So much has happened in major personal life changes, some of it tragic/difficult over the past 7 months. It is easiest to say that for now, I feel a powerful impetus to draw out and write down/share some of the things I've seen/know /experienced../learned..

[redrhodie]

I remember that when my mother died, I had to move 2 weeks later. I had already sold my house, and I had to be out. I remember feeling like a zombie packing, just getting it done, one box at a time. Then my car broke down, and repairing it would cost more than it was worth, so I had to get a new one. Then pipes burst in my mother's house, flooding the basement, on a Sunday, and I dealt with that. We then decided to sell that house and find a new place for my brother to live, and I did that, finding both the buyer, and his apartment. I remember feeling like one thing after another was piling up on me, but, I was getting it all done. I learned I was a lot stronger than I knew.

I really appreciate the easy days, the ones where you can take a nap, go for a bike ride, not deal with any disasters.

[Sky King]

My latest analogy came to me yesterday. I realized my life isn't so much chapters as it is an ocean. Each day there are different waves, some days are calm and some are quite stormy. They are just waves and I must remember just to ride them the best I can. May you have calm seas today!