Coping with major life change: brings out more of the best of you

[Velocivixen]

@radacrider, thanks. You are kind.

@VeganBikeChick, all experiences are valid ways of exploring who we are. I don't believe that there is one "better" way to find out about our inner workings. To me, experiences are experiences. Yes the actual experiences or impetus for the self exploration may be different but the momentum of the discovery is there regardless. I think that choosing to move away from your comfort zone is a huge step in self discovery and I think that is a very brave thing. I did that on a very mini scale when I went overseas the first time to a place/culture that was different from mine and where I would obviously be an outsider. I wanted my comfort zone to be "stretched" so that's why I chose it.
Anyway thank you for what you said, but I don't think that anything in your post "paled" to mine. Just different, that's all.

[Roadtrip]

There are some truly amazing ladies on this forum. Makes me really glad I found this place!!

Shannon

[Bethany1]

After being diagnosed with epilepsy after having a gran mal seizure while pregnant with my 2nd child my entire world went out of control. I wasn't able to drive. I was dosed up on medications and I had two children to take care of; a toddler and a brand new baby. Living with inlaws didn't help either.

I went through the usual stages of grief. I refused to take meds as I didn't take epilepsy seriously. I was angry, confused and defiant. This couldn't happen to me. Since I don't have gran mals, I figured it was okay to feel this way.

It was humiliating not being able to drive when I'd been driving since I was 17 and now I was 21 asking for rides just to get groceries.

It was so bad that I handed DH a bottle of seizure meds and told him I wanted to down the entire bottle and have done with it. After some psych appts it was also determined that I was bipolar and have generalized anxiety. Great. I'm a mess and I'm only 22.

The reality check? Try sitting in a room full of bipolar people and realizing that you DON'T want to turn out like these people. They have no jobs. In and out of hospitals and jail, divorces, drug addicts, being homeless because your family has had enough of you stealing from them and not caring about anyone else but yourself. They blame everyone else and can't understand why their life is so hard. I want no part of that lifestyle.

From that point on, I take my meds and both illnesses seriously. The thought of being in the psych ward of a hospital and facing losing your kids is enough to keep me going as well. I hate the side effects, but I've learned to cope with that as well.

I've learned patience, compassion towards others, a better self-esteem, a lot of humility, how to cope with everything and that I'm so much stronger because of my struggles. I also understand emotions on a whole new level as I've learned to overcome the bipolar highs/lows. I know what it's like to feel suicidal. You don't want to die, you just want the pain to end.

With epilepsy I've spent time with people who are at where I was years ago and help them get through it. I help parents with children who are diagnosed and let them know their kids will be normal and not to be overprotective. It's far worse to witness a seizure than to be the one having it and it kills parents.

I've been seizure free long enough to drive now. If I lose that, my son is now 15 with a temporary license and I won't be stuck. 14 years later after all of this I've learned you never get over it. You just get used to it.

The anxiety is harder to cope with especially on the days when you can't leave your house. It's far better than it was 14 years ago though and I just work through it the best I can.

[Velocivixen]

Thank you Bethany, that was powerful. When you saw those other folks who had bipolar disorder you made a conscious decision not to get caught up in the behaviors they were doing and the choices they were making. You decided that wasn't for you. So your decision reminds me of "free will". We all have choices and there are consequences.
I am happy for you that you can drive and I wish you wellness and peace.

[CyborgQueen]

Like everyone else, I've had ups and downs. I was feeling kind of "chaotic" this week. When I saw this thread, I read all the posts and I felt better knowing that I don't feel alone.

Mine:

* Get cochlear implants earlier (just a few years sooner).
* Not walk the dog that attacked me 13 times (worked at the kennels).
* Not quit so easily when things get hard...

[Sky King]

Mama said there would be days like this.

[tzvia]

I had been caring for my Father who is now in stage 6 Dementia. He has been living with me since 2005, and my mother, brother and I have been doing 'tag team' care. It's been rough, but finally we came to the conclusion that he needed to go to a home. Three weeks ago, we finally found a good place 3 miles away and we put him there. Yes now the house is quite. I don't have to lock up the food and pull the knobs off the stove and oven any more. The bathroom is clean every morning.

Change? Yea, but more just emotionally drained. I see him every weekend, and will be stopping off on the way home from work-it's like a mile from there. Emotionally spent after all these years of constant care. I never noticed the stress until he was gone and I just collapsed physically. Going to go see him now.