Blueberry, I recognize this pattern of behavior. Your mother doesn't want to deal with your partner because he's been better for you than she ever was. You've accomplished a lot on your own, without her help, and maybe even in spite of her actions or non-actions. She's probably feeling guilty for not being a better parent to you, and that's the source of her laying guilt trips on you. If you feel guilty for not being a better daughter, she can ignore her own part in your upbringing.

I think I'd dump every piece of furniture or whatever she's dumped on you. Just donate it to Goodwill or have Amvets come pick it up or something. It's obviously not blessing you. Let it bless someone else.

I get rid of more stuff like that. It's not blessing me. Let it bless someone else. I wish it were that easy to get rid of the non-blessing emotional attachments.

Do you feel responsible for her? My mother sometimes calls me four or five times a day. She's lonely a lot and needy, but I had a similar lack-of-parenting upbringing. I often ignore her calls. She'll leave a message. I can return it or delete it, but it's my choice.

You're doing the right thing. Stand tall.

Roxy