the important point is that your girly bits are not supposed to bear weight, your sit bones are. If you continue to use your girly bits as your main point of contact with your saddle, you face more pain, and possible permanent nerve damage*. If you are sitting on your sit bones, that will not happen. I can ride 100 miles without any of my butt being sore. You should be able to work up to that, and you're never going to be able to do it if you are riding in the "more aggressive" position.

(***nerve damage includes aches, numbness, pains maybe even during sex, come on!!***)