Dear So and So

[shootingstar]

Besides the implications of cancer in general, the thing that is so frightening is that the surgery is so serious; cutting into the chest, removing and replacing the esophagus, possibly messing with his stomach too. This means he won't be able to eat for a while except through a tube. If they do any chemo or radiation, he will be rendered even more weak and this stuff is scary scary stuff. Many of you have been through this or have loved ones that have suffered through this.

Since I was late even noticing this news until yesterday in another thread, I'm wishing Don and you, Mimi big buckets of luck.

Any radiation /chemo, especially repeated treatments, can easily weaken a person's immune system for awhile.

When is the surgery scheduled?

[Biciclista]

Shooting star, we don't know yet. We haven't even met the oncologist. we only found out on Thursday, but it seems like before that was another life. Life before cancer. Pretty strange.
Last night my sons came over (it was my daughter in law's bday) DH finally got to talk to them both "man to man" about stuff. My younger son gave me the best hug he's ever given me before he left last night. I guess he finally gets it.
thanks all of you for your supportive comments.
I don't want to take over this thread though please continue to write your dear so and sos here!

[Trek420]

You're welcome to take over the thread, heck, the whole board with this.

[indysteel]

Mimi, I'm so glad you got a good hug. Your son may have been channeling all of us on TE who wish we could give you a hug in person ourselves. I want to assure you that whether it's in this thread or a seperate one, we want you to continue to talk freely about what's going on with you and Don. We care about you and would welcome an opportunity to show our support and to stay apprised.

[Pax]

Mimi - thinking of you and Don.



Dear Universe,

Thanks so much for the push to make changes, we're on it.

Us

[salsabike]

Mimi, I'm so glad you got a good hug. Your son may have been channeling all of us on TE who wish we could give you a hug in person ourselves. I want to assure you that whether it's in this thread or a seperate one, we want you to continue to talk freely about what's going on with you and Don. We care about you and would welcome an opportunity to show our support and to stay apprised.

Yup!

[OakLeaf]

Mimi, I'm so glad you got a good hug. Your son may have been channeling all of us on TE who wish we could give you a hug in person ourselves. I want to assure you that whether it's in this thread or a seperate one, we want you to continue to talk freely about what's going on with you and Don. We care about you and would welcome an opportunity to show our support and to stay apprised.

+ a million

And that goes for the years ahead too. I think one of the most difficult things about cancer is that once the treatments are finished, people think the person is finished with it, and don't want to hear about it any more. As far as I'm concerned you're always welcome to share your and Don's struggles with the sequelae of treatment, future monitoring, etc.

[Biciclista]

+ a million

And that goes for the years ahead too. I think one of the most difficult things about cancer is that once the treatments are finished, people think the person is finished with it, and don't want to hear about it any more. As far as I'm concerned you're always welcome to share your and Don's struggles with the sequelae of treatment, future monitoring, etc.

exactly. Life as we knew is is over, as surely as it was the day I brought home my first baby...
and thanks you guys again..
But since you're all listening, I have to tell you about the Tom hug.
The first time I got a hug like that was the last time I saw my grandfather Tom Torchia.
The second time I got a hug like that was a few years later when I visited my long lost brother, Tom Torchia for the first time in many years.

and then last night, my own son Tom. how about that? I don't mean that my DH doesn't give me awesome hugs, but this is a different category.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Mimi, sending my love and healing health wishes to Don and you both.
You are one of the strongest and most caring and sensible women I know.
xoxo Lisa

[MM_QFC!]

Hey Mimi - just saw your news and want to send my own big hugs to you and Don. This is a hit but you're facing it together and it'll make you stronger for it.

[Blueberry]

Dear Mom-

I'm frustrated. Really frustrated. I put myself through college without your bothering to even pay the parent contribution, provided summer housing for myself during that time and worked to provide food/books/etc., with my partner's help been through law school and paid off almost all of the loans, and worked for a number of years. You've not been there when I moved (even in college), bought a house, when I could have used a shoulder, or when I needed financial help. Since I don't know when - probably sometime in high school - but even then, it was my grandparents.

Now - you expect me to come to visit you without my partner (because you can't be bother to deal with him despite the fact that he's a wonderful person who has give you no reason to dislike him) to help you clean up the wreck that is your life. Where were you when I needed you? Heck, where are you now? We're not having an easy time either with the economy, and are trying to clean out the crud you dumped on us so we can downsize if we need to. I could live without the guilt trips, and I really don't appreciate your trying to put a wedge in between me and the person I've been in a relationship with for 16 years (and married to for 11). Didn't you learn you lesson on that one after you wrecked my high school graduation?

Back off, and maybe, just maybe, we can have a relationship (though I don't think it will ever be normal, and it certainly won't be the 5 phone call a day nightmare you want).