How many times do you try?

[badger]

I hate trying to coordinate a meeting with more than one person. I've since stopped having my "annual xmas dinner" because it was SO painful to get 6 people to agree on a date.

I also don't put a lot of effort into arranging meetings with friends because they never seem to bother. I do think it should be a two-way street in both sides making the effort, not just one.

I'd say if there's a pattern and you feel like like they're doing some background work in avoiding you, I'd say let that go. It's a shame to let a 15 year friendship, but I recently ended a 20+ year friendship because it was just too difficult.

[Pax]

Badger - If I have to plan it I get autocratic about things like gatherings. I tell everyone "we're getting together at 6pm on Tuesday the 24th, be there or be square". Surprisingly this seems to work, people show up, those that don't miss out on a good time.

[shootingstar]

Badger - If I have to plan it I get autocratic about things like gatherings. I tell everyone "we're getting together at 6pm on Tuesday the 24th, be there or be square". Surprisingly this seems to work, people show up, those that don't miss out on a good time.

I have a big family and when I planned an event at my place, I gave them 1-2 wks. advance notice. I tried to aim for a date that 90% people could work with. This is for 19 different people fo which only 5 are children under 14 yrs. old. Everyone else is older and therefore, more independent, mobile with personal choices/activities.

Then I got 95-100% attendance because one leaves the person to make a choice on a family event vs. something else.

As long as you give at least a wk. or more advance notice and reasonable start hr. at event which makes most sense for most sane people.

[jobob]

I hate trying to coordinate a meeting with more than one person.

You mean "herding cats" ?

[Adventure Girl]

I hate trying to coordinate a meeting with more than one person.

But sometimes it is worth it. My sister, two cousins and I had a great girls' weekend (spa, shopping, fun). It took almost 2 years settle on a date because we didn't have to coordinate just our four schedules, we were considering about 20 schedules (spouses, kids and dogs!)

Throughout the weekend, we talked about how much fun it was and it was worth the wait and effort! And we started planning the next trip as soon as that one was over.

As for the OP, only you can decide how much effort you want to put into maintaing contact with people. Some friends are worth more effort than others.

[skywalkerbeth]

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to lower your expectations. When I am finally able to do that with people, I'm much happier. I'm not saying you have too high expectations, but you are probably feeling a little hurt. Drop back and see what happens.

Easier said than done, I know.