How did you meet your SO?

[Marquise]

My husband bought his daughter a horse, which was too much for her to handle, so he started riding. My good friend had a horse in the same barn and one night he asked if he could watch her ride. They chatted and when he said he couldn't find any good women to date (after she'd made it clear she was attached), she thought of me and grilled him to see if he liked things I like. She told me everything she knew about him and said she'd tell him about me and give him my e-mail if I wanted. He sent me a message in which he expressed himself well (important to me), we spoke on the phone, and made a date. We hit if off that first night. We had a lot of common likes even before I discovered I love cycling.

That was the one and only time a friend offered to set me up with a guy. She's a real networker and much more extroverted than me. She met her new love through another friend. The few single guys I know have too many negatives for me to want to set them up with my friends. I tried to open myself up to more possibilities and put out feelers as I got older but it can be frustratingly hard to meet someone. Good luck!

[indysteel]

I am 47 and never married. Not once has any of my friends tried to fix me up with anyone.

Not sure if this means there is something wrong with me or the friends...

Count yourself lucky. While it can sometimes work out, it can also lead to plenty of awkwardness because your friend is sort of in the middle of it.
I've actually never tried to fix someone up.

[shootingstar]

If I may relay, some experiences of sisters:

Sister 1- met her husband at a university fitness club. They were both joggers.

Sister 2 - met her hubby at a local runnning club.

Would I be interested in hooking with another guy after dearie (he is 16 yrs. older. than I)? Probably not. 'Cause I just think I'm a one-guy kind of woman. Is that awful? No, it probably helps alot I found love at 31 because prior, it allowed me to become comfortable with myself by doing and enjoying stuff alone too.

[TsPoet]

I announced when I was 12 (apparently, I don't remember) that I was never going to be part of a "couple", that the whole concept was stupid. I put it a little more eloquently when I was 25 and carefully explained to my mother that I didn't understand the need for an SO, that I had my life my way, that I loved the things I did and never had to compromise, etc. She shook her head and said that I'd said that when I was 12 and she was hoping I'd "grow up". Oh well.

I'm 44 now and living with a wonderful man whom I adore, but not a day goes by that I don't have to remind myself that I adore him and I'm happy, that the old single days weren't as necessary to my happiness as I'd thought and to relax.

I met him on-line. I wonder if the statistics about the number of relationships that start on line on whatever TV add that is aren't true. But, it wasn't a dating site, it was a cycling site. I never noticed him particularly on-line but when I got a PM from Zyzzyx, I recognized that I'd seen posts by him/her. He said he was moving and I'd said something in one of my posts that made him think I might live in the area, and could I show him places to ride?
That was 4 years ago. We've been friends every since and "together" just over a year.
So, I think that's 3 of us who have answered that we've met our SOs on-line. But, not on dating sites.

[indysteel]

I thought this when I was single and I think this now. It takes some work to be happy. Maybe for some it comes relatively easy, but I had to work at putting a fulfilling life together--between work, friends, hobbies, volunteering, etc. It didn't happen out of complacency. As a newly married person, it's not all that different now. My husband doesn't fulfill every aspect of my life, and I still feel the need for diverse interests and a variety of relationships. If anything, I think it's sometimes harder to do that as a married person because your time is not entirely your own. So, my point is that as much as I understand the desire and need for emotional and physical intimacy, I think you put yourself well ahead of the game if you simply make a habit of trying to live a happy and fulfilling life. Keep your heart and mind open to new people and new experiences and hopefully you will find what you need in the process.

ETA: the above isn't to suggest that the OP isn't happy or fulfilled as a single person. I just wanted to share my thoughts about my own time as a late thirty-something single woman. I got a lot of advice when I was single of the "you'll meet somebody someday" variety. I always cringed when I heard it because i didn't want to live like I was in some indefinite holding pattern. I wanted to live in the now. I tried to make the most of being single and, especially as I neared forty, I felt like I finally did.

[ridenread]

I also met my husband online when I was 36 and happily single. We emailed and instant messaged each other for about two months before we actually met in person. We met in October, were engaged in February and married in August. We will be celebrating our 12th anniversary at a baseball game at Fenway Park this year!

[Crankin]

Good, someone else met and married their SO almost as quickly as I did!
I wasn't that old when I met DH (25), but I was already divorced. I had had one serious relationship in between, with a couple of not so serious ones. I definitely did not want to be single, but I was enjoying my life, not sitting waiting around. It was the late 70's, so I spent a lot of time in discos and bars, as well as doing some things I didn't do in college (like going to ASU football games), because I was with jerky DH #1. Truthfully, I don't like being alone. I do stuff by myself and actually enjoy some solitude, but I would not like to not have a partner. I often think that if DH dies before me (even though he is 3 years younger), I probably wouldn't marry again, but I would want to find someone to share my life with.
It would have to be a cyclist, of course.

[Veronica]

I was 11, he was 12, local swimming hole. He loved my white terry cloth bikini - it was 1978.

We didn't start dating until I was a sophomore and he was a junior in high school. Married after my freshman year of college, celebrated our 25th anniversary this June.

Veronica

[indysteel]

Good, someone else met and married their SO almost as quickly as I did!
I wasn't that old when I met DH (25), but I was already divorced. I had had one serious relationship in between, with a couple of not so serious ones. I definitely did not want to be single, but I was enjoying my life, not sitting waiting around. It was the late 70's, so I spent a lot of time in discos and bars, as well as doing some things I didn't do in college (like going to ASU football games), because I was with jerky DH #1. Truthfully, I don't like being alone. I do stuff by myself and actually enjoy some solitude, but I would not like to not have a partner. I often think that if DH dies before me (even though he is 3 years younger), I probably wouldn't marry again, but I would want to find someone to share my life with.
It would have to be a cyclist, of course.

Yeah, I didn't really want to be single when I was 25, or 30, or 35. But when you remain single year after year (minus a handful of relationships), you gotta figure out a way to make it work. I just go to a point where I was sick of being sad all the time about it, especially since I know plenty of marriages that are nothing to pine after.

[MojoGrrl]

Co-worker, who was a shoulder to cry on when my marriage was ending...and then more.

[emily_in_nc]

In a nightclub (yeah yeah, cliche). I was tagging along with my roomie and her BF as the two guys I was dating (one I was crazy about, the other was crazy about me) were both out of town. I met my DH that night when I was totally not looking. The guy I was crazy about dropped out of my life completely right afterwards, and I dropped the guy who was crazy about me in order to focus on the new guy.

26 years of marriage later, I guess it was a good thing I joined my roomie that night!

[jlnc]

Jen12, I'll let ya know when I find him....

[ultraviolet]

At work. He was a product manager at a company I was doing a lot of consulting work for. I was facilitating a review of some outside agency work for his product group. We were in a late evening review session, he made a sarcastic remark under his breath about something the creative director was trying to do, and our eyes met over a stifled laugh.

We went out for a drink a few weeks later. That was three and a half years ago.

[blue_angel]

I am 47 and never married. Not once has any of my friends tried to fix me up with anyone.

Not sure if this means there is something wrong with me or the friends...

Nobody's ever tried to fix me up either. But I'm actually kind of grateful for that because, from what I've seen, my friends have terrible taste.

[soprano]

Match.com, back in 2003 when it was uncommon enough to make us both be people who were willing to jump in and try something different. We got married in 2005.

Something that I liked about using a dating service was that it made me really sit down and think about what I wanted in a relationship. I was in grad school and cash was tight enough that I wasn't paying for the service without clearly defining what I wanted from it first. My future husband was the first guy from match.com that I went out with, although I did go out with a few others before we decided to date exclusively.

I can't ride long distances with my wedding band on my left hand. At some casual group rides, I've had a number of men come on to me. It's both flattering and funny, especially when I mention my husband and they want to know why he doesn't come riding with me. Although we're both active, healthy people, he's not into sports (except as a spectator) at all. Occasionally we ride together to get ice cream