It only takes one jerk to make me want to swear-off group rides.

[ny biker]

Are most of the women in this ride annoying, or just a few?

If it's just a few, and the rides are otherwise pleasant, I would just avoid them. If they say something, give a one-word answer that discourages further conversation, like "okay" or "wow" (if it's really rude). Then just move away from them.

[zoom-zoom]

Most of them are really awesome...but, boy, it only takes one bad apple, yaknow. I hate feeling like she's going to call me out at any moment for some unknown faux pas, even where I'm not in any way at fault. I had a teacher like this in 5th and 6th grade and it's bringing up some bad flashbacks. I'm 38...I shouldn't have to feel like I'm under a cranky teacher's scrutiny, anymore. And I can't help but feel like this woman is just waiting for me to screw up, which totally kills my confidence and is precisely the sort of thing that will cause me to do something boneheaded...because that is how I react to feeling like I'm being put on the spot. And it's hard to avoid one negative person like this, since our rides rarely have more than 10 people.

[Hi Ho Silver]

If she shows up at a ride, try the "mind over matter" approach ...just say to yourself "I don't mind her comments because in the overall scheme of things, she doesn't matter". Condescending/passive aggressive people are best ignored (Another payoff to ignoring them - it pisses them off).

[DarcyInOregon]

My female training group doesn't have anyone like the older female you described, though perhaps I fit the age, being 57.

I don't get why others have to make comments, don't like it when it is directed at me by totally strange cyclists either. I personally don't examine other cyclist's bikes, other than to put in a mental category of road bike, hybrid, comfort bike, mountain bike, etc., and maybe note the color. It is an individual choice as to the bike, clothing, etc., and so there is nothing for me to observe and thus nothing to comment on.

I can say that for young fit females, it doesn't matter what type of bike they ride, because most of them can zip by me on the hills like I am not moving at all, have incredible endurance and are really strong for speed. When they are able to upgrade to a road bike with clipless pedals, even at the entry level, from a mountain bike or hybrid, just like that they are completing steep category climbs, metrics and full centuries. I've observed it at least 3 times this year alone between my two training groups. I am cheering for these ladies, not being jealous, because they all found a sport that gives them a passion and I am excited that biking will be a part of their futures.

[Rebekah H]

I love, love, love my female friends (I'm not really a guy's girl anyway) and am involved in a few hobbies that are made of mostly women, as well as nursing school which equals MUCHO estrogen. I don't even know if it's girls or it's just groups of people who are "competing," but there's always one blowhole in every group that can't allow people to just have fun without taking a jab. My favorite way to cope is just to blow them off and remember that...well, they can suck it. Just remember that there are usually two reasons people do crap like that: they are either kind of bitter and can't resist a jab or they're completely clueless and think they're just making conversation. Either way, don't let some sucker rain on your parade!

[marni]

my favorite response to b****** like this is to look at them and ask sincerely " why in the world would you say something like that to anyone?" and then ignore them from then on out.

an a hole is an ahole no matter what the gender or situation is. They don't deserve your time or attention.

marni

[Miranda]

She's messed in the head... don't let her mess with yours. Easier said than done I know.

It sucks you hafta deal with this. Makes you wonder what other people think about her as well? Who did she act this way before you showed up to the group?

The others prolly know she's nuttier than a fruit cake as well. I know one of these ladies as well. I had be-friended part of the group before I encountered her. Which helped.

I just decided to kill her with kindness and be-friend her. Keep your friends close, keep your enemies even closer they say.

The trying to ignore her the best you can as mentioned is another end of the spectrum.

Sure it's not you... she's prolly been this way in other situations as well. Maybe her whole life. Perhaps even oblivious. Eekke.

Hoping for good luck for you!

[owlice]

look at them and ask sincerely " why in the world would you say something like that to anyone?"

This. Or "Does doing that make people like you in some circles?" with raised eyebrows. Or "How patronizing!" and laugh. Or "ExCUSE me??" with that voice. You know the one I mean; everyone's heard it, and remembered it forever more.

I'd call her on the behavior. Seriously and curiously. Make her think about what she's saying and how it comes across.

Or laugh. Probably laugh, because I'm mean.

[zoom-zoom]

Or laugh. Probably laugh, because I'm mean.

I kind of did laugh...not so much at her, but at the guy flying by us in the pen*s extender. The whole line of us were making fun of him. He came out of nowhere and was definitely flying along way above the speed limit (this is a residential lakeshore road, not a generally busy route for people actually getting anywhere of importance). I hope it took the wind out of her sails, a bit.

[grey]

We had a guy like this in our little group. He always knew more than everyone else and in his mind was always right, you were an idiot to disagree with him because of course, you lacked his intelligence to begin!

I'd finally had it a few years ago, I was riding hubby's mountain bike yet because I hadn't found a bike I liked and honestly, it's hard for us to spend money. We are savers, so as long as I was unsure of what to get, it made sense to still ride the mtb.

One day he says (really loud) "the reason you don't have a bike is because you don't have any money!" and proceeds to snicker. I was speechless for a moment, who would ever say something like that? If it had been true, I can't imagine the sting it would have caused.

I had a reply. I am ashamed to say I used it. Around the same week, I had been helping a friend with her restaurant business and filling in as cook/ waitress. Small area, of course he was a customer. He was demanding, picky ('my organic tomato should be deep red all the way through') and would deliberately do things to make waiting tables difficult, and I was just helping a friend on my day off! I snapped "well, how can I make any money when folks like you only leave a 62cent tip?"

He turned bright red. I mean really really red. I felt like CRAP for saying it, for stooping to his level like that. I know it didn't make me look good, and heaven forbid it got back to my friend.

As it is, he moved away 18 months ago. "Good riddance!" according to another rider. He came by another riders place of business just before valentines day and she was too busy to talk to him. Apparently he took personal offense to it. We haven't heard a peep since. I'd venture to say your loudmouth woman is the same. Ignore her and she disappears.