Responding to invitations

[Rebekah H]

Arriving exactly on time is really impossible, with traffic delays and weekend subways being quirky. Fifteen minutes late is better than 15 minutes early. I did have one extremely polite and punctual friend who would arrive early and wait in the lobby until the appointed time.

An hour early is insane. No one is ever ready for guests an hour early.

[Owlie]

With invitations, if I know I can't make it, I'll say so. It depends on how far out the event is for a "yes". If it's on Saturday, I can give you an answer. If it's next month...not so much. I'll say something like "I should be able to make it, but I'll let you know otherwise", and try to remember to give them a definitive "yes" closer in.

Jen12, I was brought up the same way. Be a little early. For stuff with friends, I'd rather be a little bit late. In my group of friends, it's understood that 8:00 generally means 8:10 or 8;15.

[Crankin]

I always allow 15 minutes extra to go anywhere, more if it involves a high traffic area, and if I feel I have arrived somewhere too early, I wait in my car or go get a coffee.
I really don't think even a little lateness is OK, except in the case of a big party, where it doesn't matter in a sea of 50+ people. If people came "a little late" to my house for dinner, I would be pissed. Yes, we have appetizers and drinks, and that is part of the dinner.
I know a couple who are so habitually late, everyone in my social circle stopped being friends with them. They once arrived 1.5 hours late for a pot luck dinner I had, when they were bringing a main dish... they also picked up DS #1 about 45 minutes late for a babysitting job, which had necessitated him in changing plans to be home at the time they said they would be there.
Being on time and writing thank you notes are just part of having manners, something we are sorely lacking (not this group in particular!). I know this puts me squarely in the 50+ group, but of course, I think things were better before the advent of so much technology and when people got dressed up.

[grey]

An hour early is insane. No one is ever ready for guests an hour early.

I would flip. Out. Totally. The last hour before people show is usually CHAOS. I'm probably not dressed yet, or haven't put makeup on, or am frantically vacuuming or upset that something isn't perfect. Hardly the way to start anything off!

I hate being late. DH thinks i am crazy to be angry every time he makes us late for something - and yes, we were 30 minutes late to Thanksgiving once, and we were bringing the rolls and a main dish! He shrugs it off and says everything starts just fine without us - "we get there when we get there."

I was raised to arrive on time - leave home early, and drive around the block or sit in the car until it's time to go in.