Oh the Guilt!

[Crankin]

How awful! But, it is not your fault. I can probably say with all truthfulness that dad was probably pissed that their trip would be ruined. Remember the dislocated thumb story I told you last night? Well, the next day, Scott and I were flying to Phx and Tucson to check out schools and visit. I was furious, even though it was irrational. The docs didn't want him to fly the next day and they only said OK because our friends we were staying with are doctors. And that wasn't counting the stress from a crying 17 year old who was told he couldn't take his bike with him because of the injury.
It sounds like this kid needs a serious talk from your DH and you about being a bit cautious? I know racers need to take risks, but maybe he needs *really* slow speed drills? I'm not a coach, but this sounds like a personality issue, rather than a skills issue. He needs to learn how to channel that talent. I would wait a day or a few hours today and call the dad and talk to him.
And you are just feeling the guilt one feels when you are responsible for a kid. See what you've missed?

[jlnc]

SheFly, I am new to cycling and ride with a great group for beginners. A few weeks ago I hit the wall because of dehydration. I was so thankful to have experienced leaders with me to A) tell me to get off the bike, I wasn't going any further, B) Get me rehydrated and back to the shop safely in a car, and C) to encourage me to get back on that bike the next week!
If I hadn't found this type of leadership, I probably wouldn't be riding, because I would be too nervous to go out on my own. It sounds like you are offering that same type of support to your team. Ultimately, you have to feel comfortable with the responsibility that comes from coaching them, but I bet they are very thankful to have someone like you and your hubby leading them. Any sport or activity carries some risk and parents should be aware of this. Hopefully these parents appreciate your efforts!

[SheFly]

Thanks, everyone!

I spoke to Dad this morning. Junior had x-rays and a CAT scan last night at the ER, and all came back clear. His memory is also returning. While he is bumped and bruised (and likely has a black eye and fat lip - but all his teeth), he is going to be just fine!

This wasn't an issue with his skills, nor was the crash at the race. Sadly, last night he hit a patch of grass/dirt which is what caused him to go down. Dad is still nervous about the racing, but we'll see how things shake out when they get back from vacation.

(FWIW - I don't think it was clear that the bonking Junior was not the same as the crashing Junior - two different kids!)

I feel better knowing Junior is ok. Dad also thanked me this morning for being there and taking care of Junior, and was understandably concerned about his son.

I do love their enthusiasm, and helping them out. Something like this, though, was just a bit scary (especially for someone with no children of their own!). I'm sure we'll get them all back together again, and all will be well.

SheFly

[mudmucker]

I can understand how you would feel guilty of course, since you have inexperienced minors under your direction for a few hours. However, after all the common sense rationalizations, deep down you realize that guilt is mis-directed. First, you yourself listed off your qualifications. You are providing the best leadership you can! And as noted by the the qualifications, it ain't shabby. Secondly, people make choices. You have not made these choices for them. And as you mentioned last night, you have an extra set of challenges, that being, you have some young testosterone riddin' folk under your wing for a few hours each week. You can set the best example you can for them, teach them all the right things... those young minds will still make bad choices. But I bet they're making a lot more better choices ridingwise than when before they met you. As for the father's reaction, who knows what other family dynamic lurks behind.

Your post is telling. You might be discovering that it really isn't for you. Unfortunately it might not be the end as the season is still young. You can always opt not to do this next year. If it's too much, preserve yourself ! We need you to remain the ebullient and positive person I met last night.

[Crankin]

I hope he was given instruction (from the ER) about post-concussive syndrome. If his memory is just returning now, he really needs to take it easy. Maybe I know too much about TBI from neuroscience, but I have a close friend whose teenaged daughter took a hit playing soccer and after almost a year, she is still struggling with academics/memory, etc. I know this is an unusual case and she has been cleared to run, etc., it doesn't take much. I am sure he'll be fine and maybe he will take your instruction better now.